The value of the ‘fuck yeah!’

The contact with lovely man I had a cute chat with at the BDSM event didn’t go anywhere and a friend asked me ‘well why don’t you contact him again?’

Because there’s no ‘fuck yeah!’ there.

I was the one who made the approach to talk to him at the event, I was the one who asked for his contact details, we exchanged a couple of friendly emails after the fact. I sent the last … Continue Reading

Loves: 15
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Post-a-day February: Done!

Phew!

You’ve had a whole barrage from me this last month. I’ve just been blurting stuff out all over the place :).

I don’t know how some really prolific posters do it, honestly.

I tend to only write if I have Something To Say. Plus I don’t really want to repeat stuff I’ve said before. PLUS I don’t have a lovely sub to actually talk about. And all of that makes posting so often a … Continue Reading

Loves: 9
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Handy guide to interpreting BDSM personal ads

Here’s a handy guide to figuring out what people are saying in their kinky personal ads.

“looking for a true dom/sub”: I’m new here.

“I want complete control”: I haven’t thought about this one little bit.

“no limits”: I also haven’t thought about this one little bit.

“I’ll do anything”: As long as it’s hot like what I’ve seen in porn.

“discreet”: Having an affair.

“discrete”: Having an affair, but not very good with English.… Continue Reading

Loves: 16
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The night I went to a BDSM club

© 'I rocked that corset' By and of Ferns

Crowdsourcing my corset choice was a wise move, and thank you again to those who participated. Above is the final outfit with the red and black corset as the star, the gorgeous heels, and some nail porn for those who like that (and come on, who doesn’t like that?!). The theme was ‘back to school’, so I’m claiming ‘school marm’, and I did bring some dark-rimmed glasses to look disparagingly over the top of.

So … Continue Reading

Loves: 37
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Kinky socialising

A few things have happened in the last few months that have made me feel isolated. I’d say ‘lonely’, but I’m not sure I’m quite there yet.

I may be quibbling. ‘Lonely’ sounds like something more emotional, something sadder than how I feel. ‘Lonely’ requires a craving for company, and a sadness for not having it, and it’s not quite that. ‘Isolated’ feels more ‘I am alone and if I don’t have options to remedy … Continue Reading

Loves: 10
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Online domination: What does it mean?

I see online domination mentioned, and I can imagine what it means, but I’m wondering what exactly does it mean to you, if you have an online dynamic. —Question on Fetlife

Assuming we’re talking about online-only interactions, I think for the majority of people (both dominant women and submissive men) it means online play of some sort, mostly ‘her telling him to do things that get him off’. Whether that involves jerk off instructions, sex … Continue Reading

Loves: 10
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What are you interested in?

What interests you with your submissive?

I get this question quite a lot. It’s a reasonable one.

The first thing is that I don’t care about ‘what he will do for me’. Can he cook, can he wield a power drill, can he build things, can he give me a pedicure? Don’t care. It’s stupid. Those are useful skills of course, but in the scheme of things they aren’t partner-makers. And any smart person can … Continue Reading

Loves: 17
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