It’s hard to write about the issues I have with the lines blurring between professional and lifestyle Dommes without sounding like I’m anti sex workers.
But I’m not. I think pro-Dommes are amazing.
I think skilled, ethical real-world pro dominants do an awesome and valuable job. The good ones invest considerable time, energy, and money into their craft, their spaces, their equipment and into making sure their clients get what they paid for, both physically and emotionally. I think it’s a difficult job, and they deserve every penny of the money they make.
I think skilled, ethical online pros also … Continue Reading
The contact with lovely man I had a cute chat with at the BDSM event didn’t go anywhere and a friend asked me ‘well why don’t you contact him again?’
Because there’s no ‘fuck yeah!’ there.
I was the one who made the approach to talk to him at the event, I was the one who asked for his contact details, we exchanged a couple of friendly emails after the fact. I sent the last one, to which he didn’t reply. There’s no ‘fuck yeah!’ there from him. So why would I go after him? Pro-tip: I wouldn’t.
I have … Continue Reading
You’ve had a whole barrage from me this last month. I’ve just been blurting stuff out all over the place :).
I don’t know how some really prolific posters do it, honestly.
I tend to only write if I have Something To Say. Plus I don’t really want to repeat stuff I’ve said before. PLUS I don’t have a lovely sub to actually talk about. And all of that makes posting so often a challenge.
Still, I think it was good for me to flex a bit of that ‘STFU & write’ muscle.
Posts will slow down some now, … Continue Reading
Here’s a handy guide to figuring out what people are saying in their kinky personal ads.
“looking for a true dom/sub”: I’m new here.
“I want complete control”: I haven’t thought about this one little bit.
“no limits”: I also haven’t thought about this one little bit.
“I’ll do anything”: As long as it’s hot like what I’ve seen in porn.
“discreet”: Having an affair.
“discrete”: Having an affair, but not very good with English.
“looking for a dominate/I am a dominate”: Aw, bless.
“I’m just an average person”: I’m boring.
“I’m not your average person”: I’m very boring.… Continue Reading
Crowdsourcing my corset choice was a wise move, and thank you again to those who participated. Above is the final outfit with the red and black corset as the star, the gorgeous heels, and some nail porn for those who like that (and come on, who doesn’t like that?!). The theme was ‘back to school’, so I’m claiming ‘school marm’, and I did bring some dark-rimmed glasses to look disparagingly over the top of.
So how was my evening at a BDSM club? Sit down my darlings, grab a drink, and I will tell you all about it.
We agreed … Continue Reading
A few things have happened in the last few months that have made me feel isolated. I’d say ‘lonely’, but I’m not sure I’m quite there yet.
I may be quibbling. ‘Lonely’ sounds like something more emotional, something sadder than how I feel. ‘Lonely’ requires a craving for company, and a sadness for not having it, and it’s not quite that. ‘Isolated’ feels more ‘I am alone and if I don’t have options to remedy that, I don’t think it’s good for my mental or emotional health’. Am I quibbling? Probably.
A recent mess of D-R-A-M-A with my bestie’s girlfriend … Continue Reading
I see online domination mentioned, and I can imagine what it means, but I’m wondering what exactly does it mean to you, if you have an online dynamic. —Question on Fetlife
Assuming we’re talking about online-only interactions, I think for the majority of people (both dominant women and submissive men) it means online play of some sort, mostly ‘her telling him to do things that get him off’. Whether that involves jerk off instructions, sex chat, humiliation, butt stuff, self-spanking, whatever: The underlying objective is the same. At its best, both of them find it hot and fun. At its … Continue Reading