First ever hands-free orgasm!

I’m talking clitoral orgasm. And not just my first, but my second and then my third… :).

Let me tell you all about it, because hands-free clitoral orgasm!

We-Vibe created the Pleasure Mate Collection some years ago. You know why I wanted to try this collection?

Because sex toy guru Epiphora wrote a rave review about it. I’m not sure when I read it exactly, but when an experienced sex toy user and reviewer raves about a hands-free clitoral orgasm using a particular toy, you better bet I’m paying attention.

So when TabuToys approached me asking if I’d … Continue Reading

Loves: 6
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End of year roundup

It’s blogging tradition to do some kind of roundup at the end of the year. A summary of the year, some kind of ‘thing’, all thoughtful and reflective.

It’s better, of course, if it’s meaningful and poignant. Also better when drinking champagne. But when the year hasn’t been either of those things, and I’m not actually drinking champagne, it gets a little tricky.

I released two books in the last quarter of this year.

One super happy.

One super angry.

That might just about sum it up, to be honest. It covers both achievement and mood. My anger, … Continue Reading

Loves: 19
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Random snippets: An update #dommelife

© 'Self care' by Ferns

I had a full-on self-care day on Friday since I’ve still been feeling rather flat.

My hair was freshened and super-swished at my regular salon, my lashes darkened for more effective fluttering, then I had an hour-long luxury foot treatment with hot stones, foot massage, and pedicure and polish with my favourite go-to blood-red colour, I ate delicious sweet things from a quality bakery.


I turned up an hour early for the spa treatment because there is a time difference 15 minutes up the road and I forgot to check what timezone they were in (*shakes fist* frustrating), but … Continue Reading

Loves: 11
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Champagne boys apply here

© 'What having a champagne boy looks like' by Ferns

I’d much rather feel angry than sad.

But now it seems like I’ve expended all this anger on my book, and I’ve used up all the spiky energy it gave me. Doing the work required to get it published in the next few days feels like wading through treacle in a fog.

What’s left in the aftermath of all that rage is a profound sadness that I’m struggling to shake.

The sadness feels more personal than the anger. It is more personal. Anger rages outwards, sadness looks inward.

I have some valid reasons to be sad, but the weariness … Continue Reading

Loves: 18
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Rage & happies, #dommelife

© Sharyn Ferns (I've been writing: Read more about this below!)

Summer isn’t here yet, but it’s coming with a vengeance. Around 35C (95F) these last couple of days, a lazy heat-haze hanging thick over the water. It shouldn’t officially be hot for another month, but here we are.

I’m back to light sarongs, wide-open windows to try and catch cool-ish breezes, blessed iced coffee in the mornings.

As for #dommelife, hmmm…

I’ve been doing some more study this year: Finished a 2 year web technology course in 7 months with my final subject completed at the end of September. I had been alternatively cruising, then smashing out subjects really quickly … Continue Reading

Loves: 7
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Everyday kinksters

I was talking with a friend about representation of BDSMers and F/m in particular, and how important it is to see normal healthy F/m relationships, to see versions of ourselves, ‘people like us’, and how rare it really is.

In the F/m world, the only people who actively court publicity, who do marketing, who are quoted in the media, who show their faces openly, who make noise, are pro-Dommes and findoms. And marketing is inevitably the glam and the glitter and the roleplaying.

Everyone else pretty much keeps their heads below the vanilla-flavoured parapet and does their thing quietly and … Continue Reading

Loves: 19
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Shit at casual

© 'Alone on the beach' of & by Ferns

There are multiple reasons why I’m shit at casual. It’s not just one thing, but they all end up in the same shitpile.

I’m going to reiterate up-front that my inability to do casual is not the cougarling’s fault: He was, if anything, on the wrong side of my failed experiment, and that failure sits on my side.

The main issue is that I can’t work up passion for someone I’m not all that interested in.

With the cougarling, we got something going to a point in his previous visits because I was ‘doing the work’: I was doing emotional, … Continue Reading

Loves: 16
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