Everyday kinksters

I was talking with a friend about representation of BDSMers and F/m in particular, and how important it is to see normal healthy F/m relationships, to see versions of ourselves, ‘people like us’, and how rare it really is.

In the F/m world, the only people who actively court publicity, who do marketing, who are quoted in the media, who show their faces openly, who make noise, are pro-Dommes and findoms. And marketing is inevitably the glam and the glitter and the roleplaying.

Everyone else pretty much keeps their heads below the vanilla-flavoured parapet and does their thing quietly and … Continue Reading

Loves: 17
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Shit at casual

© 'Alone on the beach' of & by Ferns

There are multiple reasons why I’m shit at casual. It’s not just one thing, but they all end up in the same shitpile.

I’m going to reiterate up-front that my inability to do casual is not the cougarling’s fault: He was, if anything, on the wrong side of my failed experiment, and that failure sits on my side.

The main issue is that I can’t work up passion for someone I’m not all that interested in.

With the cougarling, we got something going to a point in his previous visits because I was ‘doing the work’: I was doing emotional, … Continue Reading

Loves: 14
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Oral: Fetish, pleasure, something else?

Public domain mark'Cunnilingus' by Doxoc

I just read a couple of tweets by Suzannah Weiss, a Teen Vogue writer (in case you aren’t aware, Teen Vogue has run more politically and socially enlightened articles than a lot of mainstream media in the last few years, so aren’t just ‘fashion and fluff for young girls’).

The tweets were essentially ‘Holy fuck men in society in general are selfish in bed!’

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Loves: 2
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What does a femdom do when she’s not femdomming?

© 'Getting ready to cook' by Ferns

Normal stuff, you know.

Cougarling
I’m trying to set up a time for the cougarling to come visit for a weekend: Kissing, touching, rope, all of that kind of thing. He’s moved since his ’24 hour drive’ type distance, but it’s still a long way, either a flight or a ton of driving. He suggested next weekend, but I already have (not-kinky) plans for the next two weekends, so then it’s getting into July.

Femdom fiction
Writing this damn femdom fiction. Fiction is ridiculously hard for me. I’ve had one person read my work-in-progress because I was truly stalled, but … Continue Reading

Loves: 18
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Dating: Hope vs Delusion

My American boyfriend*, DualDrew, wrote an interesting piece about personal ads and dating profiles: Hope or Delusion? The Modern Kinky Personal Ad. Go read it.

My comment got too long over there, so I’m posting it here instead.

I’m going to take issue with the opinion Drew floated about hypocrisy and the idea that I have to BE what I want in order to be allowed to want it (i.e. I see no problem with unfit people wanting someone fit, or bald people liking flowing locks, or short people liking someone tall, young people wanting someone older or … Continue Reading

Loves: 12
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Be bold

'Lagertha, Vikings'

You know, sometimes I just want to see women kicking some arse and inviting priests into a threesome…

**Vikings spoilers and violence**

(also I could not find a way to stop this instagram video from auto-looping, click it again to stop it)

I have message for you… #timesup #womensmarch

A post shared by Katheryn Winnick (@katherynwinnick) on

When people say ‘fight like a girl’, I couldn’t agree more.

What is a woman’s place in this world?

Is it to be docile, compliant, or simply silent.

No.

The gods have bigger … Continue Reading

Loves: 9
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(re) Follow me on the twitter

I HAVE MOVED MY TWEETERY TO A NEW ACCOUNT:

*** CLICK HERE TO (RE)FOLLOW ME: Ferns__ ***.

I’m following back and everything so come and clickety-click.

Note: Just to confuse you, yes, my twitter account name IS THE SAME AS BEFORE, but it IS a new account and you STILL have to re-follow me.
___

Background story and bitchery: If you’ve been reading this blog (or other sex bloggers) over the past few months, you’ll know about the pornocalypse which is about social media platforms stifling (or outright banning) the voices of adult content creators (in case you haven’t … Continue Reading

Loves: 8
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