Shit Ferns says #15

Random things I’ve said recently, no context.

I eat pretty healthy for someone who doesn’t cook.
For example, last night I had cheese and gherkins for dinner, soooo….

I appear to have burnt my face off

I never end up making it because I am a master fuck-arounder-er

I AM BRIGHT LIKE A BUTTERFLY, BITCH!

We got rocks thrown at us & chased by a group of men for kissing in the street

…my human skin will slough off and reveal the lizard underneath

YOU BETTER NOT FUCKING BREAK HER, BITCH!

Normal-socialising people are really nice

Bahahahaha. I don’t know

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Loves: 5
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Dommely beauty routine

Sometime soon-ish, the Masocast podcast will be publishing my third (THIRD!) interview :).

It’s been recorded already, but editing and post-production is a full time job (not for me, for the fabulous @UnspeakableAxe who creates the podcast).

We asked Twitter peeps for questions just before the interview and one was ‘what is your beauty routine?’ I can’t find that question now to credit the asker, but I know Axe did ask me, and I also know I didn’t answer it in any meaningful way (because it’s kind of dull and detailed and off-topic). So where else would I do ‘dull … Continue Reading

Loves: 5
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Post-peopling

As all self-respecting introverts know, if you do a bunch of socialising, you need a recovery day. Or two. Maybe three.

If you aren’t an introvert, or aren’t close to any, that might seem a bit odd.

But I am one, deeply and to the core, and I can tell you, after I’ve cycled up the energy for peopling, and then socialised my face off, I’m an empty husk afterwards.

So today was a recovery day.

My lovely guests brought me chocolates, which were very much appreciated in my recovery stash (thank you!).

As well as scoffing all of those, … Continue Reading

Loves: 20
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The Domme-estic Goddess cooking channel

© 'Kink-party shoes' by & of Ferns, Domme Chronicles

Welcome to my cooking channel for Domme-estic Goddesses who don’t cook.

I call it ‘WHAT?! No That’s Too Hard, I’m Not Making That!’.

Rolls off the tongue doesn’t it? :)

What might you expect if you come to my place, what am I serving my new kinky friends?

For the upcoming pre-BDSM-club gathering at my place, my invitation was simply for ‘a glass of champagne before the event’.

Of course with champagne, you need snacks. That goes without saying. I can, of course, just buy goodies at the shop, but if I want it to be a more personal … Continue Reading

Loves: 15
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Shit Ferns says #14

Random things I’ve said recently, no context.

Is that a ‘yes, I have no intention of meeting you’ salmon? If so you might have to specify: salmon species are not my forte

I think ‘vanilla’ = did not buy dedicated equipment for that :P

And here we have a vintage little number all about self-created snowballs.

“I wanked over a picture of you, THAT’S how sexy I think you are” is not the compliment those into it seem to think it is

“At last a REAL femdom!” rang the enthusiastic chorus, staring fervently at their screens, their collective right hands

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Loves: 4
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End of year roundup

It’s blogging tradition to do some kind of roundup at the end of the year. A summary of the year, some kind of ‘thing’, all thoughtful and reflective.

It’s better, of course, if it’s meaningful and poignant. Also better when drinking champagne. But when the year hasn’t been either of those things, and I’m not actually drinking champagne, it gets a little tricky.

I released two books in the last quarter of this year.

One super happy.

One super angry.

That might just about sum it up, to be honest. It covers both achievement and mood. My anger, … Continue Reading

Loves: 19
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Random snippets: An update #dommelife

© 'Self care' by Ferns

I had a full-on self-care day on Friday since I’ve still been feeling rather flat.

My hair was freshened and super-swished at my regular salon, my lashes darkened for more effective fluttering, then I had an hour-long luxury foot treatment with hot stones, foot massage, and pedicure and polish with my favourite go-to blood-red colour, I ate delicious sweet things from a quality bakery.


I turned up an hour early for the spa treatment because there is a time difference 15 minutes up the road and I forgot to check what timezone they were in (*shakes fist* frustrating), but … Continue Reading

Loves: 11
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