The cutie pie and the sex toy: Part 2

Waiting in bondage

© 'Waiting in bondage' by Ferns

Go here for Part 1 of this femdom dating adventure: ‘The cutie pie and the sex toy’.


There was kissing. Not a lot of kissing, there is never enough kissing. But there it was. Muted, as if there was a volume dial set to low, nothing violent that I can recall, which is where I tend to go when that dial starts to turn up. Though there was enough of a hint of where it might go that I felt him reach for more.

My fingers around his throat to hold him where I wanted him, he put his … Continue Reading

Loves: 28
Please wait...
Read More

The cutie pie and the sex toy: Part 1

Gift: ankle cuffs & strap

© Monogrammed ankle cuffs made for me by the cutie pie <3

I wrote about the sex toy testing, but I didn’t write about the date. They aren’t the same thing.

Let me start by saying that I was right about the cutie pie: He is really sweet, solicitous and genuine. He laid his excitement about our date at my feet over and over, and that, coupled with his sincere desire to make sure he was being pleasing to me, was just lovely.

I’d invited him over for the sex toy testing on a Saturday morning. I’d explained what was in scope and in his eagerness, he’d offered much more than … Continue Reading

Loves: 25
Please wait...
Read More

Cock-blocked by a bunch of dudes

An update on my adventures in femdom dating: A couple of weeks ago I wrote about my negotiation with the cutie pie for sex toy testing and cock-stuntery. I’d wanted to organise that for the following week.

My plans were scuppered when scaffolding started to be erected (hurr hurr, ‘erected’) around my building shortly afterwards. I live on the second floor and it was very disconcerting to suddenly have a bunch of workmen crawling all over the place outside my windows making a hell of a lot of noise and singing and yelling and such (though I was very … Continue Reading

Loves: 19
Please wait...
Read More

Negotiating a stunt cock

From ‘adventures in femdom dating’ and related to using the cutie-pie’s cock for the sex toy review I mentioned earlier, here are some snippets of the conversation in which we talked about it, how I explained it to him, checked to see if he had any issues with what I had in mind, and agreed the activities that might be on the table.


I’m intending for it to be a very low key science experiment. You are the guinea pig.

I don’t know how the toy will work either, but if it’s just ‘bbbbbzzzzzzzztttt… [a minute later] holy … Continue Reading

Loves: 18
Please wait...
Read More

About that date

I have to say, firstly, that as a femdom dating a submissive, having all of that BDSM stuff on the table cuts out a lot of overthinky bullshit with vanilla men about when and how to bring it up. It feels like I can breathe, which is a blessed relief.

We met at one of my favourite spots for lunch, it’s busy on a weekend. Too busy for my liking, but the view over the ocean can’t be beaten. While we hadn’t been messaging much prior to our meeting, his communication about the date itself had been great. I asked … Continue Reading

Loves: 21
Please wait...
Read More

The heart of the question

For some reason I’ve had a flurry of emails in my inbox from local submissive men over on Fetlife recently.

I have NO idea why. I’ve done nothing unusual to suddenly be on anyone’s radar. I’ve been there forever, have no sexy pictures, don’t put up ads etc, so my inbox doesn’t attract any significant attention. I normally get either spam or chats relating to my posts. So it’s like someone suddenly put a spotlight on me. Strange.

Most were an eye-rolling level of silliness from grown-arse self-identified submissive men: One sentence from an empty profile with no activity. You … Continue Reading

Loves: 17
Please wait...
Read More

Femdom dating: Ebbs and flows

There is a very predictable ebb and flow to my dating endeavors.

I will do a flurry of activity, reaching out, meeting people, engaging positively.

And then I am done.

Like… really done.

I’m exhausted by the effort involved in trawling web sites, in engaging with potential partners, in the social exchange, in meeting up, in all the mental and emotional work involved in it.

I will give it a solid go for a hot minute, then I need to hide in my cave for a while, regroup, cycle up some energy for the next round.

I’m in the trough … Continue Reading

Loves: 17
Please wait...
Read More
1 2 3 19