Liars and not-liars

Femdom dating is a crap shoot, emphasis on the ‘crap’ sometimes.

I’m not sure I ever wrote about the submissive in the US I said “No thanks” to.

He emailed me, was too young, had no way to afford even a single visit. He was just curious and wanted online attention and shenanigans while pretending he wanted something else.

After I said ‘no thank you’, he contacted me using another name, same IP address (amateur mistake). When I challenged him, he said, “No no I’m just staying with that other guy you talked to, I’m definitely not HIM! I live … Continue Reading

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‘Why BDSM?’ elevator pitch

In case you’re not familiar with the term ‘elevator pitch’, it’s “a short description of an idea, product or company that explains the concept in a way such that any listener can understand it in a short period of time.”
Wikipedia

The way it was presented to me in the corporate world was ‘imagine you’re in an elevator with someone you want to explain your product/concept to before the lift reaches their floor and the doors open’.

One sentence, maybe two. It’s only the start of a conversation but that start has to resonate.

If you can’t explain it … Continue Reading

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Femdom dating: Doing lunch (or not)

I mentioned in a previous post that I was travelling to help my sister out with some unfun crap for a couple of weeks.

Well here I am.

It’s stinking hot, her house has no air conditioning (except for one unit in her bedroom) and I’m struggling. I’ve been here before many times, but this time the heat is stifling, oppressive, exhausting. High temperatures and humidity of the kind where you sweat through your clothes just sitting around in the house. It saps the energy right out of me. Ugh.

I’m helping coordinate some maintenance, carpentry, and gardening type jobs … Continue Reading

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The cutie pie and the sex toy: Part 2

Waiting in bondage

© 'Waiting in bondage' by Ferns

Go here for Part 1 of this femdom dating adventure: ‘The cutie pie and the sex toy’.


There was kissing. Not a lot of kissing, there is never enough kissing. But there it was. Muted, as if there was a volume dial set to low, nothing violent that I can recall, which is where I tend to go when that dial starts to turn up. Though there was enough of a hint of where it might go that I felt him reach for more.

My fingers around his throat to hold him where I wanted him, he put his … Continue Reading

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The cutie pie and the sex toy: Part 1

Gift: ankle cuffs & strap

© Monogrammed ankle cuffs made for me by the cutie pie <3

I wrote about the sex toy testing, but I didn’t write about the date. They aren’t the same thing.

Let me start by saying that I was right about the cutie pie: He is really sweet, solicitous and genuine. He laid his excitement about our date at my feet over and over, and that, coupled with his sincere desire to make sure he was being pleasing to me, was just lovely.

I’d invited him over for the sex toy testing on a Saturday morning. I’d explained what was in scope and in his eagerness, he’d offered much more than … Continue Reading

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Cock-blocked by a bunch of dudes

An update on my adventures in femdom dating: A couple of weeks ago I wrote about my negotiation with the cutie pie for sex toy testing and cock-stuntery. I’d wanted to organise that for the following week.

My plans were scuppered when scaffolding started to be erected (hurr hurr, ‘erected’) around my building shortly afterwards. I live on the second floor and it was very disconcerting to suddenly have a bunch of workmen crawling all over the place outside my windows making a hell of a lot of noise and singing and yelling and such (though I was very … Continue Reading

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Negotiating a stunt cock

From ‘adventures in femdom dating’ and related to using the cutie-pie’s cock for the sex toy review I mentioned earlier, here are some snippets of the conversation in which we talked about it, how I explained it to him, checked to see if he had any issues with what I had in mind, and agreed the activities that might be on the table.


I’m intending for it to be a very low key science experiment. You are the guinea pig.

I don’t know how the toy will work either, but if it’s just ‘bbbbbzzzzzzzztttt… [a minute later] holy … Continue Reading

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