I choose you

When I am talking to a submissive to see if we are compatible, if we’re feeling each other out, seeing how we get along, testing if we can make sparks fly, doing that whole dating thing, I always assume that he is also talking to, seeing, dating others.

There is no expectation of exclusivity there. I don’t ask them about it. I consider it none of my business. I assume they think the same about me.

These explorations are about finding someone compatible, and to do that, you spend time with as many people as seem promising to see if … Continue Reading

Loves: 14
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The Englishman

Note: This femdom dating not-dating story is not current. I found it in my drafts, and you start to see now why I have so many drafts…

He’s 6’3, 32, super cute, fit, intelligent, articulate. And on another continent. Which is par for the course with me it seems.

We have lightly corresponded on Collarspace on and off for a few years. More off than on. His profile popped up on my page again and I re-read it: It’s smart and thoughtful (still).

I sent him a note, as one of us does every few months:

Hello there,

Just saw Continue Reading

Loves: 11
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Later that afternoon

Public domain mark'Bike, sea' by Unknown

Cycling north along the beach with the wind at our backs, the sun shining, and the surf endlessly rolling in, we could only just see our destination. The headland, far off in the distance, the salty haze making it shimmer in the distance. There was almost nobody around. Someone walking their dog, another person fishing, a surfer out the back of the break. Then miles of empty beach.

I always like the idea of a bike ride a lot more than I like any actual bike ride, and this time was no different. Even with the breeze behind us, the … Continue Reading

Loves: 22
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Nearly femdom-date with a maybe-submissive

Speaking of newbies, I’m raising this femdom dating story that has been languishing in my drafts since last year. It’s lingered there un-posted because I couldn’t tease anything worthwhile out of it, but look, when I’m trying to post every damn day in June, you get what you get :P.

I found a self-identified submissive man on a vanilla dating site and messaged him. SCORE!
Or, you know, not.

He was cute, articulate, seemed nice enough. We exchanged some messages, I asked him out. He said ‘yes please!’

But then we had a proper chat about F/m. He quickly … Continue Reading

Loves: 11
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Liars and not-liars

Femdom dating is a crap shoot, emphasis on the ‘crap’ sometimes.

I’m not sure I ever wrote about the submissive in the US I said “No thanks” to.

He emailed me, was too young, had no way to afford even a single visit. He was just curious and wanted online attention and shenanigans while pretending he wanted something else.

After I said ‘no thank you’, he contacted me using another name, same IP address (amateur mistake). When I challenged him, he said, “No no I’m just staying with that other guy you talked to, I’m definitely not HIM! I live … Continue Reading

Loves: 15
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‘Why BDSM?’ elevator pitch

In case you’re not familiar with the term ‘elevator pitch’, it’s “a short description of an idea, product or company that explains the concept in a way such that any listener can understand it in a short period of time.”
Wikipedia

The way it was presented to me in the corporate world was ‘imagine you’re in an elevator with someone you want to explain your product/concept to before the lift reaches their floor and the doors open’.

One sentence, maybe two. It’s only the start of a conversation but that start has to resonate.

If you can’t explain it … Continue Reading

Loves: 15
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Femdom dating: Doing lunch (or not)

I mentioned in a previous post that I was travelling to help my sister out with some unfun crap for a couple of weeks.

Well here I am.

It’s stinking hot, her house has no air conditioning (except for one unit in her bedroom) and I’m struggling. I’ve been here before many times, but this time the heat is stifling, oppressive, exhausting. High temperatures and humidity of the kind where you sweat through your clothes just sitting around in the house. It saps the energy right out of me. Ugh.

I’m helping coordinate some maintenance, carpentry, and gardening type jobs … Continue Reading

Loves: 21
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