My dedication to the time-honoured tradition of the birthday nude is unparalleled. The camera on my phone is no longer working and I’m in the middle of move-planning, and yet here I am in all my naked glory.
Happy birthday to me!
For my birthday, you can say lovely things to me so I feel fabulous about being another year older. Or at least click the little ‘likes’ star, come on now.…
They don’t go with anything I own, they are hopelessly impractical, completely over-the-top for casual get-togethers, and I don’t care one bit.
I’m feeling stressed (already) with all the relentless peopling that is coming my way, bearing down like a freight train. Not just ‘peopling’, but ‘peopling while being endlessly cheerful’, which is the worst kind.
Wearing these will make me feel 85.6% more cheerful. Because MATHS.
I used to love lingerie way back when, but at some point I lost interest. Not because I don’t think it’s pretty and sexy, but because somehow it just became… impractical and too expensive and hard to justify.