Non-monogamy and me

Peroxide over at Submissive in Seattle wrote an introspective post about polyamory for the mono-amorous where he talks about what it was like to be in a poly relationship when he’s mono-amorous. Short version: it’s tough. Long version: go read it.

I’ve been meaning to write something about non-monogamy (really, non-monoamory, but god, what an awkward word!) for a while.

Partly because my First now identifies as non-monogamous so it’s come a little closer to … Continue Reading

Loves: 13
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Weekend with my First

We met at my gym. Me waiting impatiently. My First driving in from the airport.

We were both smiling as he walked in, a big hug hello, a kiss on the lips (did I go for the cheek? I can’t remember, but already I felt how soft his mouth was, how his touch lingered just a microsecond too long). A quick visual familiarisation, a reconciliation of ancient memory with the man in front of me.… Continue Reading

Loves: 17
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Goodnight kiss

“It’s late,” I said. An obvious ‘end of the evening’ type fact: It was 1am.

He nodded agreement, got up from the couch.

We wandered over to the door. I smiled, thanked him for the wonderful dinner.

I stood a little taller than him in my heels. We were essentially eye-to-eye, standing a little too close. A slight hesitance, both leaning in for a kiss.

It was a quizzical kind of kiss. A question mark. … Continue Reading

Loves: 20
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Weekend with my First, by my First

My First just left a comment about our weekend on my last post about it.

Since a) I know how much I love it when I get to hear both sides of a story and b) it’s so lovely and c) I haven’t written anything about it (yet), I’m posting his comment here.

A glimpse, as fascinating to me as to anyone else.


There may be some people wondering how this weekend turned … Continue Reading

Loves: 8
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Putting the past to bed

My First arrives today.

This morning he said he got up to this song. Unbeknownst to me, it’s one that he has associated with me for a long long time.

The first time I heard that song was when my last submissive sent it to me. Similarly (and in a weird coincidence), he also saw me, and us, in it.

The difference:

  • For my last, it was a song about passion, kink, power, love.
  • For
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Loves: 9
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A date with my First

Next weekend my First is flying in to spend the weekend.

He’s arriving on Saturday morning, staying nearby overnight, and heading off Sunday. He’s hired a car, so there’ll be no picking him up at the airport in fabulous heels and doing that squinty-confused face where I’m terrified I won’t recognise him.

In fact, we’re meeting at my gym (not kidding!). He’s a gym-head from way back (his body reflects this… phew!) and I asked … Continue Reading

Loves: 11
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If I knew then… (alt: on being a bitch)

Hi Ferns.

I have been spellbound by your relationship with your first. One because you have talked about it so b’fully and secondly because despite being deeply submissive I can be the the kind of person who would not give his mistress the shirt he was about to throw away.

Having aspergers I have considerable difficulty understanding people’s intentions and having been emotionally manipulated and bullied as a child I can be quite suspicious. I … Continue Reading

Loves: 17
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