Power imbalances

This is about power imbalances and the controversial concept of ‘least interested’, so buckle up :).

“Do people really believe that the person that is the least interested in the relationship has the power?”

Yep. Absolutely yes. This is actually a real thing referred to in sociology, unimaginatively, as the ‘principle of least interest‘.

Power imbalances exist in relationships for any number of reasons, and I’d definitely say that the person who is … Continue Reading

Loves: 18
Please wait...
Read More

How does femdom work?

how femdom works

Someone asked a question that was essentially ‘how does femdom work’ in one of the forums I frequent, or more specifically they were aksing how do femdom relationships work, and I thought I’d share an embellished version of my answer here.

“How does your F/m relationship work? Does your sub have to be a docile mouse all the time?”

I’m single at the moment, but when I have a submissive, he is my romantic, monogamous, … Continue Reading

Loves: 40
Please wait...
Read More

Negotiation in my relationships

I don’t negotiate play in my relationships. The key part there being ‘in my relationships’.

To get to the ‘in my relationship’ part, we have already done the work, we know what’s in scope, we’ve established boundaries, we know each other, and he trusts me to make judgement calls about what we do when, and how. I know that kind of blanket consent is a thing some folks are uncomfortable with and I understand that … Continue Reading

Loves: 18
Please wait...
Read More

Sometimes, he melts

Three ice creams

As an additional comment to this long-ago post about my telling a submissive man I’m smitten by that he’s beautiful, about his reaction to hearing it, I’m surprised that I didn’t mention that sometimes, he melts.

Sometimes I say the words and I see in his response a wordless kind of breaking down, a softening, a downing of walls, an internal sigh of surrender.

Getting him to that unguarded state is not so difficult: It … Continue Reading

Loves: 12
Please wait...
Read More

I want to bring it!

One of my past submissives was a professional writer, a poet, he had a beautiful way with words that I adored. His mind was a messy complexity of wild imagination, odd and loud, and full of pretty things, and he offered it up unfettered to me, revelling in my enjoyment of it. We would play with each other in that way, throwing words in each other’s faces, conjuring up a strange magic that would floor … Continue Reading

Loves: 18
Please wait...
Read More

Happy femdom story: Peter & R

This love story started on Fetlife many years ago, and is still going strong <3.

Enjoy little slice of this happiness.

___

Author: Peter

I can still read on Fetlife the first message I sent her, almost exactly nine years ago.

I had started exploring about two years earlier, newly divorced at 47; meeting people for casual play, driving all over the southeast, going to play parties or sessions in Atlanta about once a month.

Four … Continue Reading

Loves: 11
Please wait...
Read More

24/7 D/s vs FLR: What’s the difference?

There were some conversations on Twitter today about the difference between a 24/7 D/s dynamic and a Female Led Relationship (FLR).

An expanded version of my tweet-thoughts on this below.

The upshot: To me they’re the same thing.

My goal is a 24/7 D/s dynamic.

In my 24/7 D/s dynamic (when I have one), I have the authority in our relationship.

I lead, he follows.

There may be carve-outs that we agree on: For example, … Continue Reading

Loves: 43
Please wait...
Read More
1 2 3 16