Pandering (or, what are we telling new dominants?)

Why yes, I DID have a little rant on twitter about how we educate new dominant women about D/s in such a way that we seem to end up with a completely un-nuanced dichotomy: Either you pander to your sub completely, or you’re abusive. With nothing in-between.

Twitter link here (scroll up to see the conversation)

Text in images above:

@Dommextraordinare
Also, as like, a sub class of “feeling pressured to be put together” … Continue Reading

Loves: 21
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Happy femdom story: Mason & Bella

Public domain markBy MaxPixel.com

I haven’t received a new happy femdom story for quite a while, so I can’t tell you how delighted I was when Mason dropped this one into my inbox on Valentine’s day like a very welcome gift.

Welcome to the story of Mason and Bella, whose college-sweetheart romance led to marriage, and then evolved over the years into the female led relationship they both enjoy now.

My heart! :))
___

Author: Mason

Playing youth soccer, … Continue Reading

Loves: 11
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Happy Femdom Story: his Queen

© Happy femdom story

I’m delighted to have a wonderful happy femdom story to share with you.

This is a lovely story of mutual discovery and goodness and love <3. Please enjoy.

___

Author: his Queen

This is a story about a Domme who didn’t know she was a Domme and a sub who didn’t know he was a sub, until they found each other and in so doing, discovered a little more of themselves.

They worked together by day. He was … Continue Reading

Loves: 14
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Power imbalances

This is about power imbalances and the controversial concept of ‘least interested’, so buckle up :).

“Do people really believe that the person that is the least interested in the relationship has the power?”

Yep. Absolutely yes. This is actually a real thing referred to in sociology, unimaginatively, as the ‘principle of least interest‘.

Power imbalances exist in relationships for any number of reasons, and I’d definitely say that the person who is … Continue Reading

Loves: 23
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How does femdom work?

how femdom works

Someone asked a question that was essentially ‘how does femdom work’ in one of the forums I frequent, or more specifically they were aksing how do femdom relationships work, and I thought I’d share an embellished version of my answer here.

“How does your F/m relationship work? Does your sub have to be a docile mouse all the time?”

I’m single at the moment, but when I have a submissive, he is my romantic, monogamous, … Continue Reading

Loves: 48
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Negotiation in my relationships

I don’t negotiate play in my relationships. The key part there being ‘in my relationships’.

To get to the ‘in my relationship’ part, we have already done the work, we know what’s in scope, we’ve established boundaries, we know each other, and he trusts me to make judgement calls about what we do when, and how. I know that kind of blanket consent is a thing some folks are uncomfortable with and I understand that … Continue Reading

Loves: 20
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Sometimes, he melts

Three ice creams

As an additional comment to this long-ago post about my telling a submissive man I’m smitten by that he’s beautiful, about his reaction to hearing it, I’m surprised that I didn’t mention that sometimes, he melts.

Sometimes I say the words and I see in his response a wordless kind of breaking down, a softening, a downing of walls, an internal sigh of surrender.

Getting him to that unguarded state is not so difficult: It … Continue Reading

Loves: 12
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