Birthday nude: Phenomenal woman

© 'Ferns nude crouching, censored' by and of Ferns

Now you understand
Just why my head’s not bowed.
I don’t shout or jump about
Or have to talk real loud.
When you see me passing,
It ought to make you proud.
I say,
It’s in the click of my heels,
The bend of my hair,
the palm of my hand,
the need for my care.
Because I’m a woman.
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
All you women, and me.
― from Phenomenal Woman, Maya Angelou

…… Continue Reading

Loves: 175
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Birthday nude: With nature

It’s my birthday. It’s tradition. It’s NUDITY.

This photo inspired the story here.

When she stepped into the shower, she looked out of the huge picture window, the raindrops on the glass suspended there as if time had stopped.

Ignoring the view, she peered down into the yard. He was kneeling there on the grass, a beautiful pose, his knees wide, his hands on his thighs, his gaze fixed on her. Positioned for her pleasure.

She stopped to stare at him. They locked eyes for a long moment.

“Good boy,” she whispered.

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Loves: 122
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Birthday Nude: Touching

My dedication to the time-honoured tradition of the birthday nude is unparalleled. The camera on my phone is no longer working and I’m in the middle of move-planning, and yet here I am in all my naked glory.

Happy birthday to me!

For my birthday, you can say lovely things to me so I feel fabulous about being another year older. Or at least click the little ‘likes’ star, come on now.… Continue Reading

Loves: 131
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End of year roundup: Top five plus nude

As a proper blogger (shut up, I am!), I’m supposed to do some kind of summary, maybe some stats, deep thoughts for the year, some goals for next year, that sort of thing. Maybe even *gasp* GRAPH PORN!

But I’m spectacularly unmotivated to do any of that, so instead, here is a list of my most popular posts of 2016:

And since I’m much too lazy to do a proper roundup, let me … Continue Reading

Loves: 62
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Birthday nude: Strap-on

“This toy makes me want to fuck”.

It does.

Kneel here. Get it wet.

Let’s get started.

My traditional birthday nude is neither traditional nor nude. I’m okay with it.

Wish me a happy birthday, click ‘like’ so I know you’ve strap-onned (is SO a word, and no I don’t mean ‘strapped-on’) with me. Oh, and send me presents.… Continue Reading

Loves: 142
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Birthday nude: Focus on breasts

It’s my birthday, and as is the annual tradition here on my blog, I am gifting you a nude photo of me.

Ferns close up nude

So happy birthday to me *smile*.

Please send more champagne. I haven’t had nearly enough yet.

And click the ‘likes’ button so I feel loved. Well, at least so my breasts feel loved…… Continue Reading

Loves: 127
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Birthday nude: Okay fine, fishnets & heels

Happy birthday to me!

My traditional birthday nude is turning more into ‘something I label as nude, but clearly isn’t’.

But it’s my party and I’ll cliché-fake-nude if I want to!

Ferns legs

Wish me happy birthday, or at least click the little ‘Likes’ star so I feel loved.

And send champagne. I obviously shouldn’t have to get my own on my birthday!… Continue Reading

Loves: 105
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