Negotiating a stunt cock

From ‘adventures in femdom dating’ and related to using the cutie-pie’s cock for the sex toy review I mentioned earlier, here are some snippets of the conversation in which we talked about it, how I explained it to him, checked to see if he had any issues with what I had in mind, and agreed the activities that might be on the table.


I’m intending for it to be a very low key science experiment. You are the guinea pig.

I don’t know how the toy will work either, but if it’s just ‘bbbbbzzzzzzzztttt… [a minute later] holy … Continue Reading

Loves: 11
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About that date

I have to say, firstly, that as a femdom dating a submissive, having all of that BDSM stuff on the table cuts out a lot of overthinky bullshit with vanilla men about when and how to bring it up. It feels like I can breathe, which is a blessed relief.

We met at one of my favourite spots for lunch, it’s busy on a weekend. Too busy for my liking, but the view over the ocean can’t be beaten. While we hadn’t been messaging much prior to our meeting, his communication about the date itself had been great. I asked … Continue Reading

Loves: 18
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The heart of the question

For some reason I’ve had a flurry of emails in my inbox from local submissive men over on Fetlife recently.

I have NO idea why. I’ve done nothing unusual to suddenly be on anyone’s radar. I’ve been there forever, have no sexy pictures, don’t put up ads etc, so my inbox doesn’t attract any significant attention. I normally get either spam or chats relating to my posts. So it’s like someone suddenly put a spotlight on me. Strange.

Most were an eye-rolling level of silliness from grown-arse self-identified submissive men: One sentence from an empty profile with no activity. You … Continue Reading

Loves: 16
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That time I dumped George Clooney

That first vanilla date had promise, but of course when I write I do not tell you everything.

I don’t write narratives, a list of facts, a blow-by-blow. I write, as best I can, an emotional truth. To tell you how things feel to me, what’s in my head. A truth, but not the whole truth in context and with detail because for those moments, it’s not relevant.

So let me fill in some gaps: There were practical issues with George Clooney. I mean, apart from the ‘he’s vanilla’ one. He has children under 10, a complicated relationship with … Continue Reading

Loves: 16
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George Clooney said I looked like Geena Davis, then we kissed

The next episode of ‘Femdom does vanilla dating’…

When I popped back onto the vanilla dating site, I clicked a few things and lo and behold if I didn’t see pictures of two beautiful local men. One was a reminiscent of Anderson Cooper, and the other had a whole ‘George Clooney-esque’ vibe going on. They each had smart, thoughtful profiles.

Well, hellloooo…

I messaged them both.

Anderson Cooper was a cold call, and we were really not that compatible (our match percentage was high, but he’d answered very few questions, and had ‘Catholicism’ listed as important to him, so that … Continue Reading

Loves: 30
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Vanilla date #2: Hot Older Man

The Hot Older Man is some ten years older than me, I initiated contact with him because I liked his active photos and big wide happy smile. We had a very high match percentage which tends to mean our values align. Among other things, he’s a high level martial artist, an instructor, so very lean and fit.

I’m not sure what to say about the date.

He’s not as attractive in person as his photos showed: He looks older, more tired, smaller. He had 6’1 on his profile, and he probably is, but he’s so lean that he seems delicate, … Continue Reading

Loves: 15
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Vanilla date #1: Incompatible-Awesome

Sooo… 4.5 hour date with Incompatible-Awesome.

We met at a cafe for brunch, I was not expecting much out of it: I liked what I had seen of him online and over text, but when I say ‘incompatible’, I’m not kidding. Pretty much everything he mentioned that he enjoyed on his dating profile was a thing I wasn’t interested in. But despite that, our values matched well, and his profile was smart and funny and excellent.

This meeting grew out of my effusive and complimentary email to him (I had expected he would say ‘thank you’ and that would be … Continue Reading

Loves: 18
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