That time I dumped George Clooney

That first vanilla date had promise, but of course when I write I do not tell you everything.

I don’t write narratives, a list of facts, a blow-by-blow. I write, as best I can, an emotional truth. To tell you how things feel to me, what’s in my head. A truth, but not the whole truth in context and with detail because for those moments, it’s not relevant.

So let me fill in some gaps: There were practical issues with George Clooney. I mean, apart from the ‘he’s vanilla’ one. He has children under 10, a complicated relationship with … Continue Reading

Loves: 15
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George Clooney said I looked like Geena Davis, then we kissed

The next episode of ‘Femdom does vanilla dating’…

When I popped back onto the vanilla dating site, I clicked a few things and lo and behold if I didn’t see pictures of two beautiful local men. One was a reminiscent of Anderson Cooper, and the other had a whole ‘George Clooney-esque’ vibe going on. They each had smart, thoughtful profiles.

Well, hellloooo…

I messaged them both.

Anderson Cooper was a cold call, and we were really not that compatible (our match percentage was high, but he’d answered very few questions, and had ‘Catholicism’ listed as important to him, so that … Continue Reading

Loves: 30
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Vanilla date #2: Hot Older Man

The Hot Older Man is some ten years older than me, I initiated contact with him because I liked his active photos and big wide happy smile. We had a very high match percentage which tends to mean our values align. Among other things, he’s a high level martial artist, an instructor, so very lean and fit.

I’m not sure what to say about the date.

He’s not as attractive in person as his photos showed: He looks older, more tired, smaller. He had 6’1 on his profile, and he probably is, but he’s so lean that he seems delicate, … Continue Reading

Loves: 15
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Vanilla date #1: Incompatible-Awesome

Sooo… 4.5 hour date with Incompatible-Awesome.

We met at a cafe for brunch, I was not expecting much out of it: I liked what I had seen of him online and over text, but when I say ‘incompatible’, I’m not kidding. Pretty much everything he mentioned that he enjoyed on his dating profile was a thing I wasn’t interested in. But despite that, our values matched well, and his profile was smart and funny and excellent.

This meeting grew out of my effusive and complimentary email to him (I had expected he would say ‘thank you’ and that would be … Continue Reading

Loves: 18
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One week, two dates

The not-dates

The vanilla dude I asked out last year and who I nudged recently was also overseas, said he’d be in touch when he got himself organised (whatever that means).

The hot older man said he would respond ‘on Tuesday’ when he’s back from an overseas trip. I thought he meant the upcoming Tuesday, but either he meant THIS Tuesday (tomorrow) or he’s drifted off.

I didn’t reply to the last from the chisel-jawed climber. It was boring and felt like work.

(having written the above I’m now wondering if ‘I’m overseas’ is the new ‘no thanks’. Discuss.)Continue Reading

Loves: 14
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When you know “I’m in love”

I’ve only been in love a few times and each time I ‘knew’ it differently. The realisation of love, the clarity of ‘I love you’ arrives for me in different ways. Sometimes a wave of everything that came before just catches up with me, sometimes some piercing emotion that almost lifts me off my feet.

I can romanticise those moments, but the one I remember most clearly, the one that perhaps shocked me the most was so very mundane, so ordinary.

I was in my late twenties, my man and I were at a friend’s place and he was showing … Continue Reading

Loves: 5
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History revisited

Last year I received this email out of the blue.

I hope that you might by chance remember me… We met online some years ago, 90’s. Your tag was SweetAs… I asked you what you were Sweet as and your reply was chocolate ice cream melting on a summer day. My name is [redacted]. You and I enjoyed a lot of correspondence. Your first website had pixel that could be clicked on to see the hidden pages. I have searched your name a number of times and was lucky enough to find what you had on amazon.

You changed my

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Loves: 16
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