How to use body writing in BDSM play

The Pillow Book

© Still from The Pillow Book

I love love LOVE body writing.

I used body writing all the time with my last submissive for various reasons.

The mechanics of it are easy*: Sharpie, tattoo pens, ballpoint pens, it really doesn’t matter. As for where you write, well that’s up to you also :).
*Note: Some pens are not body-safe and some people have sensitivities. Do your research.

The ‘what to write’ is where it gets interesting. The answer is, of course, whatever works for both of you :).

In much BDSM play, body writing is used for humiliation or objectification, which can be super hot if you’re into that: Slut, whore, holes, fucktoy. Or another common humiliation usage is writing insulting names on the body: Pig, loser, ugly, useless. If you’ve seen photos of words written on the body on a BDSM site, it’s often this, with variations depending on context.

But the possibilities are endless.

I used it very differently from that because humiliation isn’t one of my kinks. Body writing is wonderful for sweetness and positivity.

Sometimes I wrote words that were about my ownership of him: Mine, my boy, Ferns’ property, silly cunt boy (a pet name that came out of a misunderstanding that made me laugh so hard that it stuck), plaything. I would sometimes write my name on his cock (my cock, of course).

Sometimes they were about my feelings: Adored, loved, good boy, treasured.

Sometimes they were affirmations, which proved to be unexpectedly effective: Brave, courageous, talented, beautiful.

There was a period where he went out every day with my words on his body, sometimes targeted at things that were happening in his life, sometimes just as a sweetness, to have me whispering to him as he went about his day.

There is something made powerful in the writing of thoughts on the body, in manifesting these words into something real that you can see and touch, and even more in carrying them into the world etched on your skin, knowing they’re there as you go about your day.

When I next have a submissive, I have an idea to cover his entire body with our story. I like to imagine I would create some careful calligraphy on his flesh in a quiet meditative space where we lose ourselves in the intimacy as I turn him into a gorgeous piece of art. But I know what my writing is like, and I already know I will fall short of that lofty ambition, but it will be our story just the same, and beautiful in its own way.

I will do that, then enjoy watching him trying to read the secrets I have told him in it.

Loves: 27
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23 comments

  1. I have NEVER thought of body writing as anything other than humilating – which is fine because it very much IS my thing – but this blew me away. It’s beautiul.

      1. It’s amazing how much media colors people’s expectations isn’t it? I really like the idea of body writing as something warm and loving in a dominant sense rather than just a humiliation thing. The same is true with so much of femdom. Because the more violent stuff is easier to capture and market to a wide audience, it gets the most attention. But there is so much that’s missed. Casual cuddling with the occasional bite, head patting, everyday life that’s subtly flavored by the dynamic. It’s all so beautiful and fulfilling, but gets drowned out in the popular imagination by the spectacle of extreme sex.

        1. It really does.

          The most accessible and easy-to-find femdom content out there is for-money and it therefore caters to the stereotypical ideas of ‘what femdom is’ because that’s what consumers (ie mostly men) will pay for.

          Ain’t nobody gonna pay for femdom content full of love and sweetness :).

          Ferns

  2. Beautiful thoughts Ferns. Your ideas on wearing your Domme’s sentiments as you go about your day are so tantalizing. I’d like it somewhere not entirely hidden.
    The artistry of the Chinese characters took the erotism in the movie to another level. Apparently you could fit an entire paragraph on EM’s cock.

      1. Yes, needs to be rewatched. It is 22 years old.

        The director obviously enjoys spreadsheets too: “The Pillow Book is divided into 10 chapters (consistent with Greenaway’s love of numbers and lists) and is shot to be viewed like a book, complete with tantalizing illustrations and footnotes”
        Sean @truthbarephoto

  3. “When I next have a submissive, I have an idea to cover his entire body with our story.” Ooooh! A clap-back to Moby Dick!

    1. That sounds perfectly reasonable. I mean, unless it was a huge list and your sub is nude to fit the entire list, then I can see their point…

      Ferns

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