About that date

I have to say, firstly, that as a femdom dating a submissive, having all of that BDSM stuff on the table cuts out a lot of overthinky bullshit with vanilla men about when and how to bring it up. It feels like I can breathe, which is a blessed relief.

We met at one of my favourite spots for lunch, it’s busy on a weekend. Too busy for my liking, but the view over the ocean can’t be beaten. While we hadn’t been messaging much prior to our meeting, his communication about the date itself had been great. I asked … Continue Reading

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The heart of the question

For some reason I’ve had a flurry of emails in my inbox from local submissive men over on Fetlife recently.

I have NO idea why. I’ve done nothing unusual to suddenly be on anyone’s radar. I’ve been there forever, have no sexy pictures, don’t put up ads etc, so my inbox doesn’t attract any significant attention. I normally get either spam or chats relating to my posts. So it’s like someone suddenly put a spotlight on me. Strange.

Most were an eye-rolling level of silliness from grown-arse self-identified submissive men: One sentence from an empty profile with no activity. You … Continue Reading

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Weekend date

I was right about him.

I was right to contact him in the first place. I was right to listen when he addressed my concerns about his situation. I was right to invite him to visit.

He is completely lovely.

I picked him up from the airport Friday night, his face lit up when he recognised me from my photos which is always a lovely thing (it is such a difficult thing for me, trying to identify people from photos, and I am always scanning every face as they come off the plane: Anxiously going ‘is that him? is … Continue Reading

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Safety rules

Staying safe is a product of any number of things, and obviously this applies especially in the world of BDSM-related dating where it can be even easier for dangerous people to hide behind a veil of D/s type activities.

I’ve written before that newbies should do as I say, not as I do because what I SAY about safety actually makes a lot more objective sense than what I DO.

The reasons for that are many but the bottom line is that I trust my judgement. I feel like I am calling upon the gods of vengeance in saying … Continue Reading

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Meeting with my American boyfriend…

I’ve spent time with him before but it’s rare and precious. I picked Drew up from the airport around noon, and we started with lunch and drinks here:


Then we went to my place for champagne and lots of talks and secret-telling.

He let me handle his gorgeous chastity device: the Axel by Steelwerks:

Steelwerks chastity device

And this is the key to his chastity device around my neck. It’s beautiful and it suits me, no?

Conversation was fun and animated and ridiculous and thoughtful and wide-ranging. If you think we might have talked about you: we probably did.

I kissed his … Continue Reading

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A date with my First

Next weekend my First is flying in to spend the weekend.

He’s arriving on Saturday morning, staying nearby overnight, and heading off Sunday. He’s hired a car, so there’ll be no picking him up at the airport in fabulous heels and doing that squinty-confused face where I’m terrified I won’t recognise him.

In fact, we’re meeting at my gym (not kidding!). He’s a gym-head from way back (his body reflects this… phew!) and I asked him to put together a new program for me since I’m stagnating with what I’m doing now.

So we’ll reintroduce ourselves with him walking me … Continue Reading

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Meeting DualDrew

So I met a cute boy on the weekend.

Something that always stresses me out when meeting someone off the internet is the fear of not recognising them despite having exchanged photos. I hate it.

Photos are never enough to be sure (really, before meeting someone, we should exchange photos of ourselves looking a bit unsure and confused because THAT’S the expression we’re all wearing when we’re eyeing off strangers and thinking ‘Is that them? Is THAT them?!”).

I texted Drew before his plane landed: “Coming to your gate, don’t go anywhere :)” so at least we would have a … Continue Reading

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