Handy guide to interpreting BDSM personal ads

Here’s a handy guide to figuring out what people are saying in their kinky personal ads.

“looking for a true dom/sub”: I’m new here.

“I want complete control”: I haven’t thought about this one little bit.

“no limits”: I also haven’t thought about this one little bit.

“I’ll do anything”: As long as it’s hot like what I’ve seen in porn.

“discreet”: Having an affair.

“discrete”: Having an affair, but not very good with English.… Continue Reading

Loves: 17
Please wait...
Read More

The night I went to a BDSM club

© 'I rocked that corset' By and of Ferns

Crowdsourcing my corset choice was a wise move, and thank you again to those who participated. Above is the final outfit with the red and black corset as the star, the gorgeous heels, and some nail porn for those who like that (and come on, who doesn’t like that?!). The theme was ‘back to school’, so I’m claiming ‘school marm’, and I did bring some dark-rimmed glasses to look disparagingly over the top of.

So … Continue Reading

Loves: 39
Please wait...
Read More

Kinky socialising

A few things have happened in the last few months that have made me feel isolated. I’d say ‘lonely’, but I’m not sure I’m quite there yet.

I may be quibbling. ‘Lonely’ sounds like something more emotional, something sadder than how I feel. ‘Lonely’ requires a craving for company, and a sadness for not having it, and it’s not quite that. ‘Isolated’ feels more ‘I am alone and if I don’t have options to remedy … Continue Reading

Loves: 11
Please wait...
Read More

Online domination: What does it mean?

I see online domination mentioned, and I can imagine what it means, but I’m wondering what exactly does it mean to you, if you have an online dynamic. —Question on Fetlife

Assuming we’re talking about online-only interactions, I think for the majority of people (both dominant women and submissive men) it means online play of some sort, mostly ‘her telling him to do things that get him off’. Whether that involves jerk off instructions, sex … Continue Reading

Loves: 10
Please wait...
Read More

What are you interested in?

What interests you with your submissive?

I get this question quite a lot. It’s a reasonable one.

The first thing is that I don’t care about ‘what he will do for me’. Can he cook, can he wield a power drill, can he build things, can he give me a pedicure? Don’t care. It’s stupid. Those are useful skills of course, but in the scheme of things they aren’t partner-makers. And any smart person can … Continue Reading

Loves: 19
Please wait...
Read More

Corsetry: Red or blue?

© 'Corsets' by & of Ferns, Domme Chronicles

I’m going to a BDSM event next week.

To be clear, I never go to BDSM events.

I think the last time I went to a BDSM club was Paddles in New York, and that was a gazillion years ago.

But I had a very uncharacteristic bout of social energy last month, so here we are.

I had to dig around to find my corsets since that’s about it for fetish gear I own … Continue Reading

Loves: 18
Please wait...
Read More

I believe you the first time

When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.
— Maya Angelou

This is a timeless quote. I wholeheartedly believe in it.

I sometimes have interactions with potential partners, submissive men, natch, who do something egregious early on in our correspondence.

And that’s it, I’m out.

I know it sounds harsh, and it is.

If someone lies to me, is disrespectful, is mean, ignores my boundaries, expresses some offensive view, is shitty … Continue Reading

Loves: 17
Please wait...
Read More
1 3 4 5 6 7 51