How to make your first BDSM scene amazing

This is my first ‘How To’ guide for new dominant women, and it’s designed as a bit of hand-holding for women who want practical information for their first foray into BDSM play.

Dominant women are strong and awesome and they WILL find their own way and their own style, but first …

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Reader Q&A: Healthy pain play, how do I…, F/m events [Audio]

Music by M.M.

This ‘Reader Q&A’ is over an hour long(!) and includes the following:

  • Telling a dominant I like that I’m transgender
  • You are shit at marketing (it’s true, I am!)
  • How do you learn to cause someone pain in a good and healthy way?
  • For those submissive men who are looking, some examples of your competition
  • Cuckolding: Is she still dominant if she gets dominated by her ‘bull’?
  • What kinds of fetish wear do women like
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Top Ten Tips For Finding A Dominant Woman

Copyright How To Find A Dominant Woman‘ by Sharyn Ferns, Cover art by Submissive Guy Comics

I talked about my book already, but I thought I’d share some highlights.

Firstly, I have to say that finding a partner is hard. Finding an F/m partner is even harder. It just is. Not just for submissive men, but for dominant women also, I should know (feel like I should start singing ‘Single Ladies’ now…).

Trust me, …

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How To Find A Dominant Woman

Copyright How To Find A Dominant Woman‘ by Sharyn Ferns, Cover art by Submissive Guy Comics

Some version of ‘how do I find a dominant woman?’ is the most commonly asked question I see from submissive men both in my personal Q&A and on F/m internet forums.

Information and advice abounds on the topic: The main difficulty for someone trying to get help, though, is that it’s mostly in little snippets in random places …

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Reader Q&A: Desire to please, LDRs, expectations [audio]

Creative Commons BY-NC-ND 3.0 markMusic: Bensound

This long overdue Q&A (aren’t they always?!) includes the following:

  • Desire to please vs hard limits, what to do?
  • Is there an outfit that says ‘Domme’?
  • How do I help a new sub who is struggling?
  • “She wanted a hands-free orgasm, so she tied him to the bed and used his mouth.”
  • LDRs and ‘how to’
  • I made someone fail their exams, maybe, I don’t know… :P
  • How do I get what I want after
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Q&A: Historical (pre-2013)

The pre-2013 Q&A below was previously and awkwardly placed on the ‘Ask Me’ page.

I put them there in the days when I thought I wouldn’t get many questions, so I didn’t think it was worth creating separate posts for them.

Then the page just got longer and longer, until… well, it just got stupidly and endlessly long. Like over 13,000+ words long. Apparently it takes me 13,000+ words to figure out that maybe …

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How great would it be if…

… the accounts with a label of ‘dominant woman’ that have obviously stolen super-hot pictures and wank-text would all hook up with the mindless horny idiots who drool over them.

Online-only, of course, because duh.

Those dudes could wank away together forever with the hot sexy chat and stupidity and be perfectly happy and leave the rest of us alone.

Case in point:

*’Woman’ posts hot pictures that are easily verified as ‘not her’ via

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