Shock collars in BDSM play: Are they safe?

Man in shock collar

The use of dog shock collars in BDSM play isn’t that widespread, but they’ve been suggested as fun toys pretty much forever. And I can definitely see the appeal. Low effort, high impact: What’s not to love about pressing a button and bringing someone to attention (or to their knees)?

If you’ve ever gone to youtube and looked at videos of people testing shock collars (I mean, haven’t we ALL done that? What? Just me? … Continue Reading

Loves: 9
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How to use body writing in BDSM play

The Pillow Book

© Still from The Pillow Book

I love love LOVE body writing.

I used body writing all the time with my last submissive for various reasons.

The mechanics of it are easy*: Sharpie, tattoo pens, ballpoint pens, it really doesn’t matter. As for where you write, well that’s up to you also :).
*Note: Some pens are not body-safe and some people have sensitivities. Do your research.

The ‘what to write’ is where it gets interesting. The answer is, of course, … Continue Reading

Loves: 26
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I’ll slap you!

I hovered my breast near his lips.

Reaching up to kiss my bare skin, his mouth travelled across the silky-smooth, pushing the lace of my bra out of his way with his lips, his tongue finding my hardening nipple. He nuzzled and licked, sucking it into his mouth.

I felt his teeth nibbling, teasing, some pressure as he pulled it further into the soft wetness, oh, and more, teeth closing a little further, harder against … Continue Reading

Loves: 26
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How do you feel when you play?

A new dominant woman asked this of more experienced women in a discussion forum: “How do you feel?” She meant ‘when you play’, and it’s a great question that I’m not sure gets explored all that much from the dominant side.

She wrote:
So far, I don’t think I’m getting it… the thing that befuddles me the most, is how am I supposed to feel? Is there a way you should feel about this? Or Continue Reading

Loves: 22
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How to find a finsub: Part 2

© 'Findom spoils' by Ferns

Part 1 here.

So how did my Champagne Boy (CB) and I get from there to findom?

We talked a lot about various forms of D/s over the time we’ve known each other, his ideas and tastes becoming clearer, evolving. He became more comfortable with them, realised that F/m as a relationship model can actually work vs just being a fantasy.

Our discussions were largely theoretical and about long term relationships, but of course we … Continue Reading

Loves: 23
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How to find a finsub: Part 1

I have a finsub now. I guess that makes me a findom.

Typing that feels odd. And I suspect whatever you are imagining about how it works for me is probably not how it works.

Let me go back a step, talk about how this happened.

Firstly, I wasn’t looking for a financial submissive (finsub). I’m not a financial Domme (findom), have never been a findom, no matter how you define it (see here for … Continue Reading

Loves: 19
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Audio p*rn: Femdom podcast #106 [Audio]

© 'Ferns' Legs' by and of Ferns.

This short, sweet, gentle femdom audio p*rn is nothing like my normal podcast content. I ad-libbed the audio, and then wrote a story about it, a story that mirrors what I was thinking as I recorded it.

I suggest you listen to the audio first, before reading the story, and let your imagination take you where it will. See what kind of story your mind builds around the words you are hearing. If you want … Continue Reading

Loves: 13
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