The Hot Older Man is some ten years older than me, I initiated contact with him because I liked his active photos and big wide happy smile. We had a very high match percentage which tends to mean our values align. Among other things, he’s a high level martial artist, an instructor, so very lean and fit.
I’m not sure what to say about the date.
He’s not as attractive in person as his photos showed: He looks older, more tired, smaller. He had 6’1 on his profile, and he probably is, but he’s so lean that he seems delicate, … Continue Reading
Sooo… 4.5 hour date with Incompatible-Awesome.
We met at a cafe for brunch, I was not expecting much out of it: I liked what I had seen of him online and over text, but when I say ‘incompatible’, I’m not kidding. Pretty much everything he mentioned that he enjoyed on his dating profile was a thing I wasn’t interested in. But despite that, our values matched well, and his profile was smart and funny and excellent.
This meeting grew out of my effusive and complimentary email to him (I had expected he would say ‘thank you’ and that would be … Continue Reading
Bonnie made this comment on my last post where I said that meeting someone from online quickly is not a thing I normally do.
“I’m always curious about why people would rather incessantly text than meet. You’ve talked a lot about your energy for socializing and I understand that as a reason. I want to meet as soon as possible bc if there is no spark, I don’t want to waste my 2-3 good lines that come to me every month or so on someone who won’t last past the first date!”
This is absolutely fair (especially about the ‘2-3 … Continue Reading
The vanilla dude I asked out last year and who I nudged recently was also overseas, said he’d be in touch when he got himself organised (whatever that means).
The hot older man said he would respond ‘on Tuesday’ when he’s back from an overseas trip. I thought he meant the upcoming Tuesday, but either he meant THIS Tuesday (tomorrow) or he’s drifted off.
I didn’t reply to the last from the chisel-jawed climber. It was boring and felt like work.
(having written the above I’m now wondering if ‘I’m overseas’ is the new ‘no thanks’. Discuss.)… Continue Reading
I texted the vanilla man I asked out last year. I know it’s been FOR-EVAAARR, but he was still on my mind. Enough time has passed for him to deal with the stuff that was going on in his life, so I figured he was worth another nudge.
I also optimistically rejoined a vanilla dating site. Cue the usual ‘wtf is WRONG with people’ type messages:
Hi how are you feeling now love feel free to talk to me anytime you want to okay love my name is [nobody cares] and I would like to talk to you please
… Continue Reading
The vanilla man bailed.
I’m not really surprised, but I AM disappointed.
He has legitimate reasons that I don’t doubt are true (he expanded a bit on serious family issues that he mentioned earlier), but really: If you’re in the middle of some emotional upheaval, maybe, you know, don’t say ‘yes’ in the first place. I’d guess that he didn’t quite realise the mess he was in until he tried to add something else on top, and then he realised later that he didn’t have emotional/mental energy for it/me.
In taking stock, I’m not invested so it’s no big deal … Continue Reading
The vanilla man is not proactively showing interest. I vaguely wonder if that’s a vanilla/submissive divide. But honestly, it doesn’t matter much.
I felt it on the weekend after we didn’t have the date. His communication about possibly not being able to make it was good, so that was fine. But when the get-together was clearly not going to happen (and didn’t happen), we both dropped communication.
While that would have been fine if we had an alternative time lined up, we didn’t have anything else lined up. I hate texting, so don’t do any ‘just because’ chatty exchanges with … Continue Reading