This femdom went on another vanilla date… *gasp*.
Let me catch you up here first…
I texted the Hot Older Man and told him I wasn’t in the right headspace for dating. After our date, I’d said be happy to meet up again when I got back from my break away, but it wasn’t feeling right. I was peopled out from peopling and was working way too hard to mentally build up interest that wasn’t really there. He replied politely, wished me well. Mature men are wonderful.
Soon after that, I went onto the vanilla dating site to delete my profile, but I did not delete my profile in case I rallied.
I kind of did, I guess. I ebb and flow with social energy (mostly ebb, if I’m honest), and can come good after a while hiding in my introvert-cave.
After some cute light little text exchanges with Incompatible-Awesome, I figured he was not going to initiate anything (I knew that already), so I texted an invite to see if he wanted to come down for a kissing date. He did not reply. So either he hasn’t seen it (this seems hugely unlikely) or I freaked him out or he’s just not interested (I’m thinking it’s very likely both of those last two :P). Fair enough.
Back on the vanilla dating site, I messaged an angular-faced man with whom I had a high percentage match, and only later looked at his Q&A and saw that he pretty much identifies as dominant. Heh. He did not reply, so I suspect he paid more attention to the Q&As than I did, and probably wondered why on earth I would contact him :P.
I also messaged a very good looking man with a high match, great profile. He took his time to reply, but reply he did, complimenting my profile with a one liner (though he used the word ‘captivating’ and he gets points for that). I haven’t logged into the site since he messaged me (I get these emails in my inbox so don’t have to log in to read them). Meh.
Look how busy I’ve been! But there’s more!
I also trawled through some messages I got and replied to a couple of appealing men.
One is a 37yo tall cutie-pie who lives very close: A not-memorable note. We exchanged a few little emails, nothing sparkling, but I asked if he was up for a coffee some morning during the week just to meet. He said he didn’t get home until 5 most days and he didn’t have the initiative to, you know, offer some alternative. I dropped it. You messaged me, bud, I’m not doing the work. A few days later: ‘how are you?’ Bless. I haven’t logged in since I saw that reply.
I know I know… so much fluff, no datery. I’m getting there! Geez.
A well-above-par email landed in my inbox: The sender had read my profile, referenced things in it, thought it was funny (it is!), he made me laugh. I forget what our match percentage was, but promising enough, strong pictures. We had a few back-and-forths, pleasantries, and I offered to meet.
Side note: I am SO the opposite with vanilla men than with submissive men. I might have to write about that a bit more. I am literally ‘you seem ok, I don’t want to email, text, call, none of that, let’s just meet. BOOM!’.
He’s quite similar to the Hot Older Man in a lot of ways: ex-American, over 6′, very lean, fit, big teeth. But he’s not older.
He’s very ‘old school gentleman’, quick to pull my chair out, fix a wobbly table leg, pay for drinks, walk on the street side, offer me his jacket, open my car door for me. I enjoy all of that.
We had a drink at a little bar, the chat was not great in that way that fires everything up, but it was pleasant enough. He suggested we go for a walk, which we did. We headed on down towards the beach. As I took my shoes off before walking on the sand, he held out his hand to carry them for me. I let him.
When we returned from the beach, I sat on a bench to get the sand off my feet. He stood and waited. We were still chatting about this and that.
I looked up, ready to get my shoe from him, and instead of giving it to me, he bent down to put my shoe on for me.
When my other foot was sand-free, I held it out to him and he dutifully slipped my other shoe on.
I was a bit “Is that normal? That’s not normal, right?”
There’s more :).
I had parked my car under some trees and there were lorikeets, so many birds, hundreds of them. They flock to some areas in the early evening. Of course they shat all over my car.
As we parted, with him holding my car door open for me, he said I should bring it over on Saturday and he’d wash it for me.
I laughed. But he wasn’t kidding.
Interesting flirting technique, no?
I have ‘dominant’ all up in my Q&A on the vanilla dating site and I was thinking that he either saw it (he seems very thorough and detail oriented) and is submissive (or he’s curious and playing), or he’s just a vanilla man who is super sweet. But on reflection, I think he can only see the questions I’ve answered and not the actual answers I’ve given unless he answered those same questions himself (I would have looked, he didn’t). Though obviously seeing a lot of BDSM-type questions answered tells you something even if you can’t see the actual responses.
There was nothing about D/s in his profile or Q&A or I’d have clocked it. I haven’t double checked, but really don’t feel like I need to. I always check before I reply to someone.
When we parted, a polite cheek kiss, he asked if I’d like to see him again. I would.
I told him to give me a hug.
It was sweet.
He sent me a couple of text messages after I got home, thanking me, and saying that the offer to wash my car stands :). Polite boys are lovely.
I stopped at a service station on the way home to wash the worst of the bird shit off my car. Isn’t that how all dates end? Alone at a gas station, muttering about bird shit and sloshing water all over yourself? :P
He asked me out for dinner next week, and I swear to god, this is the first time I can remember going on a proper dinner date in FOR-EVAAARRR. The cougarling and I went out for dinner when he was here, but it’s not the same as ‘being asked out for dinner’ old-school dating style. Honestly when I started on the vanilla dating site, I said to some friends ‘All I want is a normal date date: Sitting across from someone while having dinner at a nice restaurant, some wine, all that’.
And to continue the ‘is he/isn’t he’ theme, he texted me three options for dinner and asked which I’d prefer, or if I’d just like him to choose. Ahh, so good :).
What IS going on here?
I know people will be all ‘HE’S OBVIOUSLY SUBMISSIVE OMG!’ Maybe. Either way, I like it very much.
On a vanilla-dating-related note, I’ve kind of gotten okay at being truthful about ‘what I do’ while not revealing my femdom content.
“I’m a writer.”
“What do you write?”
I frankly told him that my writing is linked to a lot of personal information I’m not ready to share yet and I also truthfully told him that I wasn’t going to tell him more about that until at least date 2. He was fine with it, intrigued. I think he’d be fine with me not telling him for a while if it implied I’d be seeing him again *laugh*.
I’m not sure when I will talk about it. I don’t want everything to be overshadowed by it. I’d rather know that there’s some genuine potential before we talk about it.
If we can get some sparkle happening over dinner, that would be wonderful. Fingers crossed.
Hey, this all sounds very promising…I’m happy it’s working out. But…this:
“I am SO the opposite with vanilla men than with submissive men. I might have to write about that a bit more. I am literally ‘you seem ok, I don’t want to email, text, call, none of that, let’s just meet. BOOM!’.”
Oh yes, I need to read a lot more about that–why oh why? Very interesting. Especially if the guy in the end turns out to be the classic “vanilla sub” ha-ha. We fly under the radar.
A writing about that is in the works :)).
Go get some, girl!
Thank you for the cheer-leading: I’m working on it!! :)
I love that we know more about you – in so many ways – than lovely dinner man. The shoe slipping on part was a bit thrilling.
I’m glad you’re enjoying it (and super glad I actually have some datery to talk about, I’m so bad at making the effort).
The shoe-slipping on *was* a bit thrilling :). Very surprising.