Reader Q&A: So what are you like?

So what are you like when you are not writing this wonderful blog ? Are you happy and chirpy ? Are you quiet and stern ? Do you have a coy smile ? Are you naughty ? Do you pull pranks on your friends ? *writes a hundred more such questions*

*laugh* Cute questions, but of course, the ‘what are you like’ one is unanswerable in any definitive way.

Are you happy and chirpy ?

Yes, I’m a pretty happy person in general. I like to see good and positive in things and am generally optimistic about life and possibilities. … Continue Reading

Loves: 5
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I said in my last:

I *really* wish that I enjoyed casual playthings because I think that would open up some very interesting opportunities…

I’m defining a ‘casual plaything’ as a boy who is attractive, fun, appealing, and temporary. Someone with whom a long term relationship isn’t possible for whatever reason, a short term fling who I would primarily treat like a treasured toy for a time.

Sounds great, right?

But it’s not. I can’t.

For the most part, I am either interested enough in someone to WANT them (I mean WANT in all senses of the word: physically, … Continue Reading

Loves: 16
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Reader Q&A: Myers-Briggs (spoiler: INFJ)

Have you ever taken the Meyers Brigs Personality Inventory, and if so, what was your type beyond being introverted?

I have. I did it as part of a serious exercise in something-or-other at work way back when, and have since done it again online for curiosity’s sake with the same result.

I’m an INFJ.
Introvert(78%) iNtuitive(25%) Feeling(25%) Judging(33%)

When I first did the test forever ago, I found great relief in the ‘introvert’ descriptor because it described me so well.

I know there are theories about D/s and how they are grouped under the personality types, but whenever I’ve seen … Continue Reading

Loves: 7
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Sleeping together

I don’t sleep well with another in my bed. I don’t sleep well at all for the most part. This tenuous relationship with sleep makes it precious, sacrosanct. There are few things more irritating than having my sleep interfered with.

I need to feel very comfortable with someone to want them in my bed, and if I don’t have that level of comfort, I don’t share well. I will lie there restless, unable to relax, hyper-aware that they are *just there*.

I let bambi fall asleep in my bed one night when he was here. We had played for some … Continue Reading

Loves: 19
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Blending D/s and vanilla

This cracker of a question was asked by someone on my Ask Me page all anonymous-like:

What is the best advice you can give to a new Domme? I’m feeling uncertain about how to blend the vanilla and the D/s in a new relationship.

It’s tough not only to be figuring out yourself and your needs but learning someone else’s, too! And yet difficult to separate the two.

It can be really tough, yes!!

I have a few posts that I have categorised as ‘Advice for Dommes‘, so please take a look at those for random snippets. This … Continue Reading

Loves: 12
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Once upon a time I was kind of a bitch

I think in a lot of ways, I was much more domlydomdomdomlydominant when I was young, and vanilla. In the days before I’d even heard of BDSM.

You know why?

I never gave it a moment’s thought.

I didn’t negotiate.

I didn’t discuss.

I just did my thing and the men who were interested in me either got with the program or they were left behind. I never thought in terms of ‘dominance’ or ‘power’ or ‘authority’ or anything like that. It was irrelevant. I was just me. It was so simple.

Men loved it. Seriously.

I don’t at all … Continue Reading

Loves: 9
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Personal advert

I have never actively sought a partner and I have never advertised for one when I have been single. Why? Because it makes me feel uncomfortable: Like I’m a used car to be looked over and assessed for road worthiness, to have my tyres kicked, to have strangers look under the hood and take me for a test drive, and frankly, that makes me feel icky.

It feels to me as if running an ad and vetting responses makes the *most* common denominator the fact that we are both looking for someone. That squicks me. I tend to think that … Continue Reading

Loves: 17
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