I loved the book, which tapped into a lot of what I like to explore in my own writing — the themes of female dominance that is not tied to leather or vinyl catsuits and whips or sex dungeons (not that those can’t be fun!)… real portrayals of what it’s like for lovers in this dynamic.
So of course when Megan asked if I’d be interested in doing an interview with her, I said ‘Oh hell yes!’ so fast I nearly got whiplash.
So here it is:
Megan has a hugely impressive catalogue of books to her name, quite a few of which have femdom themes, including an as-yet-unreleased novel called Vanilla which will be out in February.
In the tradition of self-pimpery, if you want to pick up my book of hot femdom play here are the links:
Original book: Domme Chronicles: Erotic tales of love, passion, & domination, full collection, all volumes available here.
Edited 18 July 2017: Changed the interview link to an archived version because Megan Hart’s site has been changed and the interview was removed *sad face*.
Including the entire interview after the jump in case it disappears from the archive also.
Interview: Sharyn Ferns, The Domme Chronicles
I recently had the pleasure of reading The Domme Chronicles, a wonderful collection of snippets and essays featuring a female dominant and her submissive lovers. I loved the book, which tapped into a lot of what I like to explore in my own writing — the themes of female dominance that is not tied to leather or vinyl catsuits and whips or sex dungeons (not that those can’t be fun!) But real portrayals of what it’s like for lovers in this dynamic. Since everyone is differnet, of course everyone has different preferences and experiences, but I’ve been enjoying Ms. Ferns’ blog for some time and her book was absolutely as delicious.
So, I asked her to talk to me about it! :)
1. Please tell us a little bit about how you started writing.
I’ve been writing since I was about 15 when my English teacher had us write a personal journal for a week or two. I actually found it really useful. 15 year old me passionately poured out all of that teenage angst and ‘he said/she said’ drama onto the page, and I discovered that it helped me process what was going on in my life (all the Really Important Stuff that nobody could possibly understand…*dramatic arm waving*).
I’ve pretty much kept some kind of journal ever since. Paper to start with, then documents on my computer, and at some point in the days before blogs were a ‘thing’, I hand-coded an online journal that all of 12 people read.
2. Please tell us how you decided to write Domme Chronicles.
I was frustrated by the (mis)representations of female dominance and male submission out in the world. It was all so incredibly bad: stereotypical and embarrassing and utterly depressing. And the internet was flooded with it. I wanted to see myself out there.
I wanted to read about real people living in happy, healthy, troubled, flawed, loving D/s relationships where the Domme’s submissive was her primary partner, where he was cherished, adored, and opened up like a ripe peach for the taking. I wanted incredible hotness and sex and affection and beauty. I wanted hurt hearts and struggles and magic moments and some truth that I could relate to. I couldn’t find it, so I created it.
3. Your book might surprise readers who are expecting whips and chains, latex catsuits and non-stop humiliation, yet you’re writing from your own experiences — have you had any negative feedback from people who tell you you’re “doing it wrong?”
I haven’t. I suspect that those who are happy with those stereotypical depictions of femdom have so many options (SO MANY!) that they have never even glanced my way.
4. Have you considered writing fiction?
I have, and I have a few fiction pieces on my blog (very few!). I’d like to do more, but it’s not a natural fit for me. I really admire writers who can draw compelling stories from their own imaginations.
I think my strength is taking moments, holding them up to the light, and revealing some emotional truth in them. That kind of writing doesn’t lend itself naturally to storytelling, so it’s a challenge for me.
I really want to work on that, not least because mining my own experiences means I’m drawing from a finite resource.
5. Your book is intensely personal, as is your blog. What do you love best about sharing your own experiences in such a way? What do you hate about it?
The thing I love most about it is hearing from young women or new dominants who are all “Oh thank god!” at finding someone talking about a style of female dominance that they can relate to. Many are exploring and what they find ‘out there in the world’ about female dominance is often anti-women: it’s not sexy, it’s not loving, it’s not affectionate, it’s not at all fun or appealing for women. There is nothing in those depictions of dominance for them and they can get to the point where they think they aren’t actually dominant because they can’t relate to any of it. Hearing that I helped them feel like they weren’t alone out there, that they are ‘okay’, that they can explore their dominance in a way that feels right to them is just wonderful for me
There’s nothing I really hate about it, but I do get frustrated at times. My writing is not truly anonymous (that is, people in my life know about it and read it), and I sometimes feel stifled by the weight of that. I have two rules for my writing: don’t hurt anyone, and don’t surprise anyone with something they don’t already know. They are fine rules, but it means that sometimes there are things going on with me that I can’t share, and since my life informs my content, I can become paralysed by that.
6. Do you plan to write another book?
I do! I’m probably going to tackle some short-form semi-autobiographical fiction first (wow, that really rolls off the tongue doesn’t it?!) and see how that goes.
Also I just made myself laugh because my inner voice just went “Mmhmm, and how’s that workin’ out for ya so far…?” Fine, I haven’t started yet, are you happy now?!
7. Is there something you would NEVER write about?
Ha! Well I wrote recently about extreme fantasies so apparently not.
I wouldn’t say there’s a basket labelled NEVER, but there are already things I don’t write about, so sure. They are mostly topics that I think are too complex for me to condense into something palatable: those that make me feel too vulnerable or defensive or are too controversial. That may seem strange given how much I share, but I still only share strobe-light impressions of carefully chosen slices, so there’s a lot more there in the darkness. Maybe at some point I will tackle some of them.
8. Female dominance doesn’t seem to be as popular in erotic fiction as male doms are — why do you supposed the idea of a strong alpha male is so appealing versus a capable, strong and sexually confident woman who takes care of her boy and is served by her? What do you say to people who assume that male submissives are automatically weak?
How long have you got for these questions *smile*? I’m going to try not to rant, we’ll see how that goes.
We are brought up in a culture that values and reinforces strict gender roles pretty much from birth. Masculinity and femininity, and male and female roles still have very strict social definitions that are kept in very well defined, tightly closed boxes.
On social, cultural, and political levels we get a pervasive version of this hammered into us and reinforced in every imaginable way. So male dominance is only a slight uptick of something that is already ingrained. It’s not a leap, it’s only a small step sideways. Male dominance is romanticised as hyper-masculinity, as ‘the prince who will carry her away on his white charger and sex her up real good’.
So the maledom fantasy is familiar, it’s known, it’s only a slight exaggeration of everything we are supposed to find sexy, so of course it’s more popular than something subversive like a woman taking the lead.
But your question is worded in a way that presents a fallacy. I understand that it reflects common thinking, but it would be remiss not to point out that ‘a strong alpha male’ does not describe a male dominant any more than ‘a capable, strong and sexually confident woman who takes care of her man’ describes a female dominant.
Male submissives can be ‘strong alpha males’ and female submissives can be ‘capable, strong and sexually confident women who take care of their man’. Submissives are simply individuals who *choose* to give up some level of control to their partner because that’s what they enjoy in their relationships.
There are endless ways to practice domination and submission but for people who aren’t familiar with female dominance and male submission, or who have a stereotypical idea of how it works, I like to frame it using the analogy of a Queen and her knight.
The knight may well be a ‘strong alpha male’, he may lead all of the other knights into battle, he may slay the dragons, he may scale the castle walls, he may kill her enemies, but when he is in the presence of his Queen, he kneels and asks how he may serve her.
How is that not the most romantic, sexy thing ever?!
And if someone automatically thinks that submissive men are weak, I’d ask them how prioritising his partner’s happiness makes a man ‘weak’, and I’d then ask them how they think men *should* treat their partners. No really, how?
Relationships are complicated, and D/s relationships are no less varied and complex than any other, but at their core, all relationships are really just about people who have complementary ways of expressing love making a life together. And having amazing play and sex.
9. Do you have a favorite book or film that shows femdom as you experience it?
Sadly, it’s less ‘favourite’ and more ‘wow, something not terrible and offensive!’
I enjoyed Joey W. Hill’s Natural Selection for the D/s relationship aspects: I think that’s the closest I have come to reading something where the couple seemed like ‘normal’ people with their own issues and complexities which was refreshing to see.
Her book Vampire Queen’s Servant was also good, though obviously not real-world. After I read those, I got all excited about her back catalogue, but then read another of hers in which the dominant woman was horribly damaged and just needed a ‘real man’ to show her the error of her dominant ways and I was so disappointed that I haven’t read any more of hers since.
I’ve just started reading one of your femdom themed books: I’m keen to see how the characters develop.
In films, I’ve only ever seen snippets of female dominance that felt right to me (like this from Game of Thrones, oh my). Mostly if female dominants are portrayed at all, they are pro-Dommes and often they are villains.
10. How do you handle people who assume that because you write openly about your sexuality that you’re open to being solicited?
I don’t get solicited because of my writing. I do get solicited because I’m a woman on the internet and because I have a presence on some kink sites, but that has nothing to do with my writing.
People responding to my writing on my blog or in my book have been really wonderful. Maybe it’s because my writing attracts a very particular audience, and men who are more likely to behave that way aren’t in it. Or maybe I’m just intimidating (this thought amuses me greatly, so I’m going with it!).
front or back
left or right
ocean or forest
Spock or Kirk
Trek or Wars
vanilla or chocolate
up or down
in or out
hard or soft
You stand in front of three doors. What color they, what’s behind each, and which do you choose?
Black, grey, white.
A cat, a dog, a beautiful man.
Hmmm… I’ll take the white one, thanks.
IS THIS A TRICK?! WHERE’S MY BEAUTIFUL MAN!?
Find out more about The Domme Chronicles — on sale now!
Email: ferns at domme-chronicles.com
Amazon (kindle): http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00HC038MS/?tag=dommechron-20
Smashwords (other formats): https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/391692?ref=Ferns
The author has graciously agreed to give away a copy of The Domme Chronicles to one lucky reader [COMPETITION CLOSED]…what do you have to do to have a chance at winning? Comment to this blog post about your favorite femdom book, film or song. (Don’t have one? Your favorite recent read will do!) I’ll choose a random winner Dec. 12, 2014 by 5 pm and be in contact with the winner shortly after that! The book is in digital format only.