Reader Q&A: Myers-Briggs (spoiler: INFJ)

Have you ever taken the Meyers Brigs Personality Inventory, and if so, what was your type beyond being introverted?

I have. I did it as part of a serious exercise in something-or-other at work way back when, and have since done it again online for curiosity’s sake with the same result.

I’m an INFJ.
Introvert(78%) iNtuitive(25%) Feeling(25%) Judging(33%)

When I first did the test forever ago, I found great relief in the ‘introvert’ descriptor because … Continue Reading

Loves: 9
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Sleeping together

I don’t sleep well with another in my bed. I don’t sleep well at all for the most part. This tenuous relationship with sleep makes it precious, sacrosanct. There are few things more irritating than having my sleep interfered with.

I need to feel very comfortable with someone to want them in my bed, and if I don’t have that level of comfort, I don’t share well. I will lie there restless, unable to relax, … Continue Reading

Loves: 22
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Blending D/s and vanilla

This cracker of a question was asked by someone on my Ask Me page all anonymous-like:

What is the best advice you can give to a new Domme? I’m feeling uncertain about how to blend the vanilla and the D/s in a new relationship.

It’s tough not only to be figuring out yourself and your needs but learning someone else’s, too! And yet difficult to separate the two.

It can be really tough, yes!!

I … Continue Reading

Loves: 12
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Once upon a time I was kind of a bitch

I think in a lot of ways, I was much more domlydomdomdomlydominant when I was young, and vanilla. In the days before I’d even heard of BDSM.

You know why?

I never gave it a moment’s thought.

I didn’t negotiate.

I didn’t discuss.

I just did my thing and the men who were interested in me either got with the program or they were left behind. I never thought in terms of ‘dominance’ or ‘power’ … Continue Reading

Loves: 9
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Personal advert

I have never actively sought a partner and I have never advertised for one when I have been single. Why? Because it makes me feel uncomfortable: Like I’m a used car to be looked over and assessed for road worthiness, to have my tyres kicked, to have strangers look under the hood and take me for a test drive, and frankly, that makes me feel icky.

It feels to me as if running an ad … Continue Reading

Loves: 19
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Dominance and vulnerability

Dominance makes me vulnerable for lots of reasons. I have talked about vulnerability previously, but I don’t think I have tackled it as it relates to my dominance before, probably because it’s so complex.

Dominance makes me feel vulnerable because I expose myself in it: I give of myself, I share secrets, I let him in to see who I really am, I offer him my control, I trust him to revel in it, I … Continue Reading

Loves: 29
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Why sex blogging is bad for my love life

Prior to my blog existing, I had 100% success rate with meeting submissive men and having the meeting lead to a relationship. Since having the blog, becoming single, and with the blog linked from my profiles everywhere, my success rate is down to zero (keep in mind that I meet *very* few men, I really only meet those who I believe have real potential). Essentially, since having the blog, my ‘foolproof’ method is no longer … Continue Reading

Loves: 11
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