Exhausted and angry

I’m tired of expecting people to do the right thing.

Even more, I’m tired of feeling like I can’t expect them to do the right thing.

It’s utterly exhausting and depressing to expect the worst of people.

I don’t want to. Truly I don’t. And I try really hard to keep it at bay, to hang onto that smiling wide-eyed optimism that I used to have in droves.

I think it makes me an uglier person when I let it in, that bone-wearying cynicism. It makes me feel like a lesser person, a weaker person. Walking around in the world … Continue Reading

Loves: 11
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The new normal

I believe that prolonged exposure to a lot of things can normalise them. Over time, we internalise them as ‘the new normal’, and we just get on with it. The ramifications of this idea are huge in general, but I’m only thinking about it on a tiny scale based on how I’ve been feeling recently.

(And the reason I’m thinking about this is entirely not kink related: Kink?! On a kink blog? DON’T BE RIDICULOUS!)

I used to work in a very stressful job. Other than ridiculous hours, lots of long-haul travel, heavy responsibilities, complicated problems, and huge budgets, it … Continue Reading

Loves: 9
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Lifting out

Creative Commons BY-SA 4.0 mark'Passion fruit' by Paul Munhoven

Hauling myself out of a slump is tricky. If I try too hard, I rail against myself like I somehow want to see me fail. It’s ridiculous, and yet it’s true.

I mentioned that I signed up to this 10 week challenge at my gym which is meant to be all full-on, and it can be, but given I’m a bit broken I’m taking it relatively easy.

What it’s about for me is having an external goal to think about vs just rattling around inside my own head like some demented ferret. And the gym-driven program gives me some system … Continue Reading

Loves: 17
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Some whine? Don’t mind if I do…

I’m in kind of a slump. I’ve been here before, it will pass, but talking about it is better than not talking about it I guess.

Being slumpy makes me not want to do things that I know will help me lift out of the slump because my brain goes ‘But I don’t waaaaaannnt to’ like a three year old. So it’s a self perpetuating slump. A never ending circle of slumpiness. Slumposity (they are so real words!).

Working on my ‘How To’ Femdom Series is helping some. Having a project to work on that I care about is good … Continue Reading

Loves: 15
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Rigid cock rings: PSA

I don’t know anything about rigid cock rings except that they look sexy and they scare me silly.

I somehow can’t get past this horrible visual of someone being unable to get it off an engorged cock and having a terrible paniced trip to the emergency room (DON’T SEARCH FOR THAT, I WARNED YOU!).

I know it’s silly really, and someone tweeted a most excellent article which linked to a useful little video that made me feel a lot less scared of them.

So for other scaredy cats, here you go:

Quick Reference Guide to Rigid Cockrings by the fabulous … Continue Reading

Loves: 7
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Administery admin: aka ‘yawnfest’

I know you all just want to hear about my date, but bear with me here: I’m about to change my blog theme (have I ever mentioned how much I hate change? I do, I hate it).

About 54% of my readers access my blog from desktops, 32% from mobiles, and 14% from tablets. My current theme is so old that it doesn’t properly support the smaller devices, so the main driver for this change is to make my blog more readable to those folks *waves hello*.

I’ve tested the theme locally and made a ton of customisations … Continue Reading

Loves: 16
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The fabulous Stella Gibson


I’ve just watched Season 1 of The Fall.

It amuses me greatly that Jamie Dornan is essentially playing the next chapter of Christian Grey as a stalkery creep, only in this iteration he actually kills the women he stalks.

But that’s not why I’m mentioning it.

I’m mentioning it for the very brief liaison Gillian Anderson’s character, Stella Gibson, has with a young detective. It’s really short, but you’ll see why I loved it.

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Loves: 4
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