My First arrives today.
This morning he said he got up to this song. Unbeknownst to me, it’s one that he has associated with me for a long long time.
The first time I heard that song was when my last submissive sent it to me. Similarly (and in a weird coincidence), he also saw me, and us, in it.
- For my last, it was a song about passion, kink, power, love.
- For my First, it’s a song about an unhealthy relationship, obsession, hurt, badness.
They are both right, of course.
I said I had no expectations of this weekend with my First. But that’s not true of course.
I expect that we will settle the unknowns, put the past to bed, and see if there is something worth nurturing into the future. What that might look like I don’t know, but if we settle our history with kind sweetness, I will be more than happy with just that.
I’m excited to see him. I think it will be so strange and a bit awkward at first, though I guess meeting at the gym gives us something to ‘do’ while getting used to being around each other. I imagine we will be feeling each other out to figure out how we relate now. That interesting thing of ‘strangers-but-not’.
I’m really looking forward to it.