Introvert recovery

I had a month with bambi, a week and a half to myself after he left, then this past weekend, I had four days staying with my sister and niece.

If you aren’t an introvert, this doesn’t sound like anything much.

If you ARE an introvert, you might understand when I say that I am tapped out. Socially and emotionally, I am completely empty.

And this happens even though the people I was … Continue Reading

Loves: 14
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Thoughts and routines

I want to write glorious things. I want to write about snippets of play with bambi, I want to write about how I am feeling, I want to write about what happened, I want to write about what’s next, I want to write about a lot of things.

Truth is, I am scattered. My head is all over the place.

It’s not necessarily bad.

It’s just… confusing in there.

Sometimes my head swims with random … Continue Reading

Loves: 8
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Post-bambi

I will probably write more about bambi in the days to come, but in the meantime, this is really just a catch-up post.

Bambi left on Wednesday. It’s now Saturday.

I’m doing okay.

I expected to fall into a big messy pit of badness, but so far, I’m fine.

It feels wrong to say “I’m fine”, as if it’s a mean or disrespectful thing to say somehow. As if it is an insult to bambi. … Continue Reading

Loves: 12
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Because you are so beautiful

I was punching him over and over again: his face alternatively screwed up with pain, mouth open in a silent yell, then stoic against the hurt, completely closing down, trying to get control back. His body thrashed violently against the restraints at the peak of each wave until I could no longer aim the strike and had to stop.

He was so fucking pretty when he was like this: not thinking, just reacting. Some fear, … Continue Reading

Loves: 23
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Random unconnected thoughts

I am all over the place with random thoughts, and I really can’t put them together into anything cohesive, so this is a collection of things I am thinking at the moment, in no particular order.

  • I vacillate between feeling sweet with bambi and feeling sad, and much depends on the flavour of our last interaction
  • Today I feel sweet, I didn’t want to let him go home this morning
  • I want us to have
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Loves: 16
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A preview of the story’s end

I’m just going to place this here: a shot across the bow for all of you romantics and well-wishers, so you know what is coming… so I don’t feel like I am misleading you.

There will be no happy ending for bambi and me.

There, I said it, quietly, with regret.

I am not wanting to dwell on it or talk about it right now because I don’t want to spend what little time we … Continue Reading

Loves: 1
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When we play

Hello bambi,

I enjoy you so much.

I like it when you tell me what is going on in your head in the moment when we are playing: that
you want to come, that you want to fuck me, that you are feeling/ thinking/ wanting things. I love
watching your face, and feeling how your body moves. I love your cock and that spot that always
wants attention. I adore your mouth, for kissing of … Continue Reading

Loves: 20
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