Non-monogamy and me

Peroxide over at Submissive in Seattle wrote an introspective post about polyamory for the mono-amorous where he talks about what it was like to be in a poly relationship when he’s mono-amorous. Short version: it’s tough. Long version: go read it. I’ve been meaning to write something about non-monogamy (really, non-monoamory, but god, what an awkward word!) for a while.  Partly because my First now identifies as non-monogamous so it’s come a little closer to home. […]

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Oh, there I am

Earlier this year, I talked about how I worry sometimes that I’ve lost the hunger that drives my dominance. It doesn’t exist in a vacuum, it only comes alive when I have someone I want to aim it at.  When I haven’t felt it for a while, it becomes like some distant thing. Vaguely remembered, but shadowy, intangible. Even though it didn’t work out with bambi, I am beyond delighted and grateful that he was a perfect target for the hunger. […]

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Snippets of bambi

I wrote about how I am trying to figure out why it feels strange to write about bambi, but I still want to do it because those moments gave me something lovely, even if they were only fleeting. So here they are: random snippets of heat and beauty… — He sweetly fell asleep early one evening, one wrist still cuffed to the bed. I was not tired yet, I watched him for a little while, […]

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Writing about moments

I want to write more about bambi, snippets of hot sweetness, things that make me smile, but it feels weird. I can’t quite put my finger on why. I have never had trouble writing about boys and sweetness after the fact before. Maybe because it’s done, it feels like I am romanticising something that didn’t work out, something that is best left in the ‘oh well’ box. […]

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Bambi post-mortem

Bambi So this is the ‘what happened’ post. Firstly let me say that Bambi is fucking lovely. Seriously. He’s adorable and smart and sweet and willing and funny and sexy and passionate and quirky and pretty and and… *shrug*… all sorts of good things. We just… didn’t work together. Intellectually and emotionally, we got nothin’. We talked about it, were both frustrated by it, mused about ways to fix it, […]

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Exercise, emotions and sex

A body project check-in… As a spoiler, I have not been doing so great in the last couple of months since I last updated on March 18. Note the consolation beach photo instead of a bicep photo (which I haven’t had the desire to take in case it’s demotivating!).  Read on to find out what’s been going on… I am in a privileged position with my body project because I have the freedom and time to do what I want when I want, […]

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Things we did and things we did not do…

Play with bambi Things we did: A list.  kissing body washing flogging tease and denial short term chastity caning paddling spanking edging arse play punching nipple clamps more kissing bondage (rope) cuffs & clips body worship wartenberg wheel toenail polish blindfold wrestling domestic service biting more kissing sex (oral, PIV, hand jobs, fingers) cuddling cock sucking (Realdoe) petting face slapping hair pulling  Things we did not do: A list.  more of ALL of the above: harder, different, softer, sideways, backwards, longer, slower, faster, more intense, MOAR… JUST MOAR… … also, loads of OTHER stuff…  *pouts* — ETA:  More things we did:  waxing (him) steel claw body writing   […]

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