Kinky socialising

A few things have happened in the last few months that have made me feel isolated. I’d say ‘lonely’, but I’m not sure I’m quite there yet.

I may be quibbling. ‘Lonely’ sounds like something more emotional, something sadder than how I feel. ‘Lonely’ requires a craving for company, and a sadness for not having it, and it’s not quite that. ‘Isolated’ feels more ‘I am alone and if I don’t have options to remedy that, I don’t think it’s good for my mental or emotional health’. Am I quibbling? Probably.

A recent mess of D-R-A-M-A with my bestie’s girlfriend has highlighted how close I am to being completely isolated. I won’t go into detail, but there are issues going on there which impact time he can spend with me. And honestly, there wasn’t a lot to begin with: Introverts tend to be very low maintenance friends. Given he’s the only friend I really spend time with, it brings my isolation into high relief.

“If I don’t have him, then what?”

I haven’t been to a kink event since… I don’t even know when. When I started this blog a gazillion years ago, I had already stopped going to them.

I attended a flurry of them when I first started exploring, because that’s what you do. I went to enough that when I took a newbie submissive he was intimidated that I seemed to know everyone. I didn’t, though. If people see your face enough times, they are friendly in an ‘oh hello, we’ve seen you before, you’re one of us now’ kind of way. This vs an ‘I know you, friend’ kind of way.

The last BDSM gathering I went to was a rope workshop and that was ages ago. I looked for more of those for when the cougarling was up visiting because I thought it would be fun to do together, but none were on at the right times.

But the last time I went to a BDSM club is way back there in the rear view mirror.

So last month, as I mentioned earlier, I went waaaayyy outside of my introverted comfort zone and invited a lovely F/m couple who I don’t know (that is, ‘internet strangers’ :)) over to my place for a glass of champagne prior to going to a club. Then I invited their friends, and then I invited their other friends. So I now have six kinky strangers from the internet coming to my house prior to going to a BDSM event. Go big or go home, right?

My internal introvert is locked in a box underneath the bed and I’m working hard to keep a tight lid on her even though I can hear her banging about and yelling at me for this. So far she’s under control and I’m cycling up a bunch of social energy like a champ.

So yeah, that’s happening this weekend. I’ll be wearing the red and black corset per the 63% of you who preferred it :).

So let’s do this.

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5 Comments

  1. What you say makes perfect sense, I don’t think it’s quibbling. It’s like a warning sign saying that paths have closed and (being introverts we are) we’ve been content but we haven’t worked on opening up new ones for when we want to get our peopling on. It’s not a problem… yet… but it could turn into one without proactive work.

    I’m so glad you are going to the event at the weekend and the kinky drink, I hope you have a fabulous time and that red/black corset was so the right choice. You must have a fabulous time, so you can tell us all about it here.

    It made me laugh the go big or go home. That’s just such an introvert thing to do, nothing, nothing, nothing OMG DO EVERYTHING AT ONCE then recover. It reminds me of someone. Oh wait, I’m off overseas tomorrow and have already plans to go to a meet and greet and social night whilst I’m away, so I think it reminds me of me after hibernating all winter :P

  2. Thank you for replying so quickly. I believe that I was born a sexually submissive person just like gays believe that they were born in the wrong body sexually. Since puberty all of my fantasies have been about being taken by females, my question is, Do you think submissive men are born submissive?

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