Liars and not-liars

Femdom dating is a crap shoot, emphasis on the ‘crap’ sometimes.

I’m not sure I ever wrote about the submissive in the US I said “No thanks” to.

He emailed me, was too young, had no way to afford even a single visit. He was just curious and wanted online attention and shenanigans while pretending he wanted something else.

After I said ‘no thank you’, he contacted me using another name, same IP address (amateur mistake). When I challenged him, he said, “No no I’m just staying with that other guy you talked to, I’m definitely not HIM! I live in Australia, I’m just visiting over here :)!”

Him: “Anyway, I saw he blew it with you and I looked you up. I’m submissive also, and I’m SO VERY INTERESTED. Plus, local. Just not right now :).”

I asked him where he lives then. He found a place on a map and told me, using the full name like no local would EVER do.

“Mmhmm, okay, so when are you back here?”

“Two weeks :).”

“Mmkay then, when you get home, send me a photo of you standing in front of [local landmark] :).”

“Oh, I will. I’m not lying! It’s the truth. The truthiest truth you ever heard. Honest! You’ll see! And I’ll definitely do that the minute I’m back. I can’t wait to meet you!! So excited!”


Oh how I waited, dear readers, all breath-holding on my tippy toes with excitement over this amazing submissive who definitely 100% wasn’t lying.

And then…

(I know you’ll be shocked. SHOCKED!!)


Oh how I cried and cried.

And then cried some more.

This story and many others, lead to this:

I’m getting some really great emails recently from smart, interesting submissive men (I know! C-19 is reanimating them or something!) and my first instinct is not to go ‘whee! :D!!’.

It’s to go ‘I don’t believe you’.

And you know what? I hate that.

Loves: 17
Please wait…

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  1. It is such a shame.
    I would have thought that the internet, developed by the USA department of defense would have built into it’s foundation the given of having the identification of any and every sender. Alas, the task was left to be placed not at the foundation but way up on the 78th floor.

  2. I’m guessing some HNGs have too much time and and too many penises on hand. I’m suddenly getting more messages, too — despite a profile that states in its very first line I’m partnered and monogamous and don’t play with others (cuz apparently “monogamous is too big a word for some men to understand with insufficient blood in their brains) and despite that it is the profile of a 64 year old woman who’s not conventionally attractive.

    The other day I made the R of pointing out to one bozo that he might find it helpful to READ profiles before harassing women. He response? “Bitch!”

    Ok. You barge into my space, penis first, ignoring all the KEEP OUT signs, and you’re irked that I take you to task rather mildly and potentially helpfully? Project much?

    1. I think the ‘time’ thing is especially true right now (though this particular example was old: it just stuck with me because it was so very blatant that it made me laugh).

      I think the ‘can’t meet now anyway’ part right now makes many of them bold, which is actually good for some shy or nervous ones who might otherwise not dare, but shitty for bringing the ‘gimme interactive porn online’ crowd to the fore.

      Not related to lying, but to ‘mmhmmm’ types of exchanges: I told one young sub recently that his approach sucked and why (“I’m tall, I’m hung, how ’bout it” just about summed it up) and he retorted that ‘your generation sure has some weird ideas about how much trouble we should go to for intro emails and I don’t need your dumb book (which of course I suggested because it would help him) lol’.

      Okay then whippersnapper: I’m sure young dominant women will be most impressed by your stellar approach since it’s only us oldies who expect better. Good luck with that :).


  3. I hate it too… even when you find a non liar.. (see a good girl) the residue of a bad liar experience
    Can pop into your head at odd times… working to stop that.
    And I absofuckinglutly hate, it for you. As always, thank you for sharing!

  4. It sucks that people waste other people’s time and can’t just be real. I mean honestly what does a person get out of this crap. Smh

    1. 1 Perceived attention
      2 Sometimes people do things that are of no or little benefit to themselves only because it is evil or nasty. Pranks are a common. So common that they are often downplayed with “But it was only a prank.”

  5. You know how many times I’ve been lied to by a dominant women? The same amount that you’ve been lied to by submissive men. The gate swings both ways.

  6. Goddammit Ferns, you’re the smartest and coolest person I’ve ever seen who’d rather chase the echo of impossibility than knuckle down to a real relationship….

      1. I AM smart (and cool :P), and I have no idea what you are saying to me.

        Are you… BLAMING me because someone lied to me?


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