The heart of the question

For some reason I’ve had a flurry of emails in my inbox from local submissive men over on Fetlife recently.

I have NO idea why. I’ve done nothing unusual to suddenly be on anyone’s radar. I’ve been there forever, have no sexy pictures, don’t put up ads etc, so my inbox doesn’t attract any significant attention. I normally get either spam or chats relating to my posts. So it’s like someone suddenly put a spotlight … Continue Reading

Loves: 17
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Femdom dating: Ebbs and flows

There is a very predictable ebb and flow to my dating endeavors.

I will do a flurry of activity, reaching out, meeting people, engaging positively.

And then I am done.

Like… really done.

I’m exhausted by the effort involved in trawling web sites, in engaging with potential partners, in the social exchange, in meeting up, in all the mental and emotional work involved in it.

I will give it a solid go for a hot … Continue Reading

Loves: 18
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That time I dumped George Clooney

That first vanilla date had promise, but of course when I write I do not tell you everything.

I don’t write narratives, a list of facts, a blow-by-blow. I write, as best I can, an emotional truth. To tell you how things feel to me, what’s in my head. A truth, but not the whole truth in context and with detail because for those moments, it’s not relevant.

So let me fill in some … Continue Reading

Loves: 16
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George Clooney said I looked like Geena Davis, then we kissed

The next episode of ‘Femdom does vanilla dating’…

When I popped back onto the vanilla dating site, I clicked a few things and lo and behold if I didn’t see pictures of two beautiful local men. One was a reminiscent of Anderson Cooper, and the other had a whole ‘George Clooney-esque’ vibe going on. They each had smart, thoughtful profiles.

Well, hellloooo…

I messaged them both.

Anderson Cooper was a cold call, and we were … Continue Reading

Loves: 31
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Dating Ferns: An insider’s perspective

This is an unusual post for this blog, a one-off: My Gentleman’s view of our dating experience.

I think the only other time I’ve had someone guest-write on my blog was my ex-sub who participated in an extensive reader Q&A way back when we were loved up (holy shit, that boy had a way with words. Unf <3).

This though, ‘an anatomy of dating Ferns’ from a vanilla man who doesn’t really know me, is … Continue Reading

Loves: 30
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Boys, toys, & champagne

© 'Champagne & toys' by and of Ferns

So a few things, random updates of sorts.

My Gentleman found my blog after our last date (hello there, MG :)). He could have found it earlier, he said, but he was waiting for me to tell him. Of course, we all know what happened before we got to that. He wasn’t upset about any of the content, and he was flattered to be written about, which is a relief to be honest. It means … Continue Reading

Loves: 17
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Femdom vs vanilla dating: Different approaches and why

Public domain mark'Untitled' by Pxhere

Femdom dating vs vanilla dating is like chalk and cheese for me.

I mentioned in a previous post that on the vanilla dating site, I take a very different approach to ‘when to meet’ than I do on BDSM sites.

There are a number of reasons for that that range from the obvious and simple to something more complex.

The first and biggest thing that influences my decision on ‘when to meet’ is that I’m … Continue Reading

Loves: 19
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