Pandering (or, what are we telling new dominants?)

Why yes, I DID have a little rant on twitter about how we educate new dominant women about D/s in such a way that we seem to end up with a completely un-nuanced dichotomy: Either you pander to your sub completely, or you’re abusive. With nothing in-between.

Twitter link here (scroll up to see the conversation)

Text in images above:

@Dommextraordinare
Also, as like, a sub class of “feeling pressured to be put together” … Continue Reading

Loves: 26
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Reader Q&A: Femdom Podcast #114 [Audio]

This stupendous femdom podcast Q&A includes the following:

  • The bits where I answer some questions about my masturbatory habits!
  • Lovely sweetness from some listeners/readers <3
  • Is this a scam? (if you’re asking this question, you already know the answer is ‘yes, yes it is’)
  • Has a submissive ever introduced you to new kinks that you subsequently enjoyed?
  • Should I ‘top from the bottom’ to solve this problem?
  • How do I deal with power struggles in
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Loves: 4
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Advice for submissive men #547

I’ve said this a million times before and will probably repeat it a million more times before I’m dead:

Dominant women who want a D/s relationship aren’t going to be interested in a man just because he’s submissive.

Approaching any relationship-orientated dominant woman with ‘I’m submissive’ as your ‘tah-daaah’ trump card doesn’t carry any weight.

Dominant women are interested in a man because he’s awesome and interesting and funny and smart and compatible with … Continue Reading

Loves: 27
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“I want to be an oral slave”

Public domain markfrom Pxhere

Question:
Would an oral slave satisfy a domme?
I love and crave facesitting, pussy and ass worship, body worship. Would this alone satisfy a domme?

Answer:
Imagine, if you will, being on a vanilla site and asking a similar question.

“I love and crave facesitting, pussy and ass licking, body touching and licking. Would this alone satisfy a woman?”

Imagine, if you will, your sister/female friends/any actual-for-real woman you’ve ever met ever reading that, written … Continue Reading

Loves: 33
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Femdom: Is this a scam?

Scam alert

Femdom scams are common. Soooo common. The truth is that if you’re asking ‘is this a femdom scam?’, it’s probably a femdom scam :/.

I’ve written about femdom scams a few times over the years:

  • This is what a scam looks like*
  • Scammers come in different flavours*
  • Should I pay tribute?
  • *Note: My older posts have not kept up with the fast pace of technology: As mentioned below, a simple, very Continue Reading

    Loves: 27
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    Reader Q&A: Femdom Podcast #113 [Audio]

    © 'Ferns Femdom Podcast' by and of Ferns. Music by M.M. Transcript by MFMWKE.

    This fabulous femdom podcast includes the following:

    • A big thank you to my Patreon supporters (because of course)
    • A sweet little happy femdom story (yay!)
    • Advice on getting into phone domming
    • Resources for a new Domme (tip: My non-fiction book list)
    • Should I consider a much older partner?
    • Should I seek out a pro-Domme for this fantasy?
    • How do I handle a serious issue with my long term dominant partner?
    • What do you like
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    Loves: 8
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    Should I pay tribute?

    There are a LOT of questions everywhere all the time from new submissives asking whether paying a tribute is a normal thing when looking for a personal or love-based F/m relationship.

    Why do they ask this?

    Often it’s because they’ve already handed over some money to someone and instead of it leading to a meeting and the start of a beautiful relationship, it led to, you guessed it, a request for more money. Or they’ve … Continue Reading

    Loves: 15
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