Reader Q&A: Healthy pain play, how do I…, F/m events [Audio]

Music by M.M.

This ‘Reader Q&A’ is over an hour long(!) and includes the following:

  • Telling a dominant I like that I’m transgender
  • You are shit at marketing (it’s true, I am!)
  • How do you learn to cause someone pain in a good and healthy way?
  • For those submissive men who are looking, some examples of your competition
  • Cuckolding: Is she still dominant if she gets dominated by her ‘bull’?
  • What kinds of fetish wear do women like on men?
  • Dominance to help someone get out of their own head?
  • I met a dude who’s submissive, now what?
  • How to approach D/s with
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Loves: 5
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Top Ten Tips For Finding A Dominant Woman

Copyright How To Find A Dominant Woman‘ by Sharyn Ferns, Cover art by Submissive Guy Comics

I talked about my book already, but I thought I’d share some highlights.

Firstly, I have to say that finding a partner is hard. Finding an F/m partner is even harder. It just is. Not just for submissive men, but for dominant women also, I should know (feel like I should start singing ‘Single Ladies’ now…).

Trust me, fabulous submissive men, we WANT to find you.

But in my experience, some submissive men who have the potential to be amazing partners get in … Continue Reading

Loves: 5
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How To Find A Dominant Woman

Copyright How To Find A Dominant Woman‘ by Sharyn Ferns, Cover art by Submissive Guy Comics

Some version of ‘how do I find a dominant woman?’ is the most commonly asked question I see from submissive men both in my personal Q&A and on F/m internet forums.

Information and advice abounds on the topic: The main difficulty for someone trying to get help, though, is that it’s mostly in little snippets in random places with varying degrees of usefulness, so an actual cohesive answer to ‘yes, but what do I do?!’ is harder to find than you would think.… Continue Reading

Loves: 32
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Reader Q&A: Desire to please, LDRs, expectations [audio]

Creative Commons BY-NC-ND 3.0 markMusic: Bensound

This long overdue Q&A (aren’t they always?!) includes the following:

  • Desire to please vs hard limits, what to do?
  • Is there an outfit that says ‘Domme’?
  • How do I help a new sub who is struggling?
  • “She wanted a hands-free orgasm, so she tied him to the bed and used his mouth.”
  • LDRs and ‘how to’
  • I made someone fail their exams, maybe, I don’t know… :P
  • How do I get what I want after a change from ‘D/s relationship potential’ to ‘lovers’
  • What’s your favourite thing about tying up boys?
  • How to deal with a request from my Domme
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Loves: 2
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“Only submissive to someone special…”

There are a large number of newbie submissive men who seem to think they are the odd one out if they don’t just submit to everyone.

Usually those observations have this hideously aggravating flavour of special snowflakedness. They display a stereotypical view that has obviously come from a lack of experience or exposure to real life D/sers, and that has much to do with online silliness and I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHAT (you KNOW I want to blame porn, but this isn’t even about the sexytimes part).

Their view is usually stated something like this:

‘Oh, I’m not like all

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Loves: 16
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Reader Q&A: Genderfluidity, LDR to live-in & attraction

Q&A time!

These questions came in from some lovely readers via my Ask Me page. I do love that you ask me things, thank you for them!

In case you sent one in and don’t see it here, no this is NOT all of them… the post got really long, so I saved some for later.

So let’s goooo…

___

Dear Ferns,

I recently came across your first book while researching for a speech I’m giving on BDSM; though it ended up being a bit too *ahem* in-depth for the speech, on note, I thoroughly enjoyed it! (Enough that I’m … Continue Reading

Loves: 5
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Reader Q&A: Vanilla, young lovelies, cookies

These questions landed in my inbox via my ‘Ask me’ page… Thank you for them!

Dear Ferns,

This is a bit difficult to word so bare with me please (:

I have denied my Top side for a very long time.

When I was single I could be quite aggressive sexually and then I met my husband. He opened up a softer side of me and I have become very comfortable letting him lead. Now I find myself thinking about “activities” that I would love to do but my husband is both extremely hetero and kind of a … Continue Reading

Love: 1
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