Profile advice for submissive men

Sometimes I send unsolicited profile advice out into the world to submissive men who seem sincere, but who are not presenting themselves at all well. The email is usually triggered by them attracting my attention in some way (an interesting comment in a discussion, them showing up in ‘who’s viewing me’ on CM, or something similar). This leads me to take a look at their profile, where sometimes, I get that confused look on my face (“Eh?”), or sometimes I do a big double facepalm, and I just know that they have no idea that they are doing themselves … Continue Reading

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User names and you…

User names are like a signature on the internet or in the community. I figure if you chose it, you did so to specifically and unequivocally communicate something about yourself.

That being the case, many are a complete turn off for me.

If a submale has a user name that communicates an icky message, he is going to have to work *extra* hard to make me believe he’s actually an intelligent, thinking human being.

I recognise that many of these men with really bad nicknames ARE intelligent, thinking human beings. I know because I have spoken to them, but I … Continue Reading

Loves: 3
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Scammers come in different flavours

So you got contacted by an uber hottie… whoo hoo!! She’s from your home town and she is super keen on you and thinks you are special… that’s so awesome!! She wants to claim you as her slave… yesss!!! You’ve been talking for a couple of weeks… it’s going great! She seems to be moving really fast, but ok, that’s fine… good even! And she hasn’t asked you for money so SHUT UP FERNS!!

There are scammers who will invest in you if they are after more than the few dollars they can get from having you join some BDSM … Continue Reading

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This is what a scam looks like

So, you (submissive male ‘you’) have emailed with someone for a while, she seems perfect, she ‘gets’ you, you have a lot in common, she likes your kinks, she thinks you are special. Then she asks for money. You go ‘hang on!’ and you baulk.

Then she sends something like this (actual email below). It is designed to hit every insecurity and doubt button you may have.

I am disappointed that you seem to want to fail so early and ruin everything but this is why I set this test. There are literally thousands of so called submissives who promise

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Submissives need protection…

Protection from what, you may well ask, and I am glad you did…

Submissives apparently need protection from the Big Bad Dommes (BBDs).

Really.

Why?

Because submissives allegedly can’t say ‘No thank you’ or ‘I’m not interested, strange shouty lady who is ordering me about’ or ‘Are you insane?!’ or ‘Piss off’ or anything of that ilk.

They need their Domme, or some other Domme (one who is *not* a BBD, natch) to filter their interactions, to make smart decisions for them, to jump in with swords at the ready to ‘protect’ them from the BBDs.

I’m not talking about … Continue Reading

Loves: 2
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‘Topping from the bottom’ is bollocks!

‘Topping from the bottom’ (TFTB – yes, truly, I am that much of an acronym geek!) is a term used to describe a situation where a submissive attempts to control the play, the dynamic or the relationship from their submissive position.

It’s a common phrase that has been, and continues to be, abused by all and sundry. It has essentially become a term to cover anything and everything that falls under the umbrella of ‘the submissive is doin’ it wrong’. It is even used to describe a submissive’s behaviour when the Domme and sub aren’t even in a relationship yet!Continue Reading

Loves: 14
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More advice for submissive men

If submissive men are all about pleasing the dominant wimmins, how come they aren’t all the most beautiful men they can be? Hmmmm?

How come single submissive men looking for partners don’t all think “I know what will be pleasing to a potential dominant! A fit, strong, hot body! I gotta get me to the gym now now NOW and git me one of those!”

A lot of submissive men ask how they can make themselves more appealing to dominant women and there is often talk of them gaining skills (cooking, cleaning, pedicure, manicure, tea service etc). That’s fine and … Continue Reading

Loves: 6
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