Reader Q&A: How to make someone cry

Dear Ferns,

I am a very inexperienced novice dom and I recently met this guy who is willing to submit to me. I liked him so we tested the water. Although the scene was tough for him, he didn’t cry, not a single tear. I tried my best to humiliate him since I was looking forward to seeing his crumpling face with tears and whimpering, but found out he doesn’t feel that humiliated easily.

The thing is, I get off on a grown man crying, not giving the pain itself and he is more of submissive, less of masochistic. Also, … Continue Reading

Loves: 14
Please wait...
Read More

Reader Q&A: How to reject someone

So I just had a scene with a perfectly nice sub boy, after which he left all smiles and eager to do it again, and I felt … kind of awful and have no interest in seeing him again. I don’t know why, nothing went wrong, and it’s never been an issue with previous people, so that’s upsetting in itself, but now I’m feeling weird and awkward about how to tell him there will be no more, especially when he had such a great time and I don’t think was at all aware that I was having a ‘nice but Continue Reading

Loves: 5
Please wait...
Read More

Reader Q&A: Genderfluidity, LDR to live-in & attraction

Q&A time!

These questions came in from some lovely readers via my Ask Me page. I do love that you ask me things, thank you for them!

In case you sent one in and don’t see it here, no this is NOT all of them… the post got really long, so I saved some for later.

So let’s goooo…

___

Dear Ferns,

I recently came across your first book while researching for a speech I’m giving on BDSM; though it ended up being a bit too *ahem* in-depth for the speech, on note, I thoroughly enjoyed it! (Enough that I’m … Continue Reading

Loves: 5
Please wait...
Read More

Reader Q&A: Vanilla, young lovelies, cookies

These questions landed in my inbox via my ‘Ask me’ page… Thank you for them!

Dear Ferns,

This is a bit difficult to word so bare with me please (:

I have denied my Top side for a very long time.

When I was single I could be quite aggressive sexually and then I met my husband. He opened up a softer side of me and I have become very comfortable letting him lead. Now I find myself thinking about “activities” that I would love to do but my husband is both extremely hetero and kind of a … Continue Reading

Love: 1
Please wait...
Read More

Reader Q&A: Risk taking, safe words & nurturing doms

I sometimes shy away from publishing posts that are quite personal. I read and re-read them and tweak and re-tweak them, but in truth what I am doing is stalling while I psyche myself into it. Strange that it should still feel difficult sometimes, even after so long.

So thank you to those who submit questions on my Ask page. You give me an excuse to gently sidestep.

___

Hello again, Ferns! And thanks for answering! XD

Since my last question there has been some changes: my “bro” (let’s just call him that) broke up with his girlfriend, apparently … Continue Reading

Loves: 5
Please wait...
Read More

Reader Q&A: Non-romantic D/s, erotica, damage

It’s December. I have just returned from 5 days up in the mountains with family. I have just invited family to stay with me for 3 or 4 days. Then I will spend Christmas day with family.

I love them dearly, but this time of year sucks my very limited social energy up like a huge black hole of suckiness.

Thank you to those who popped a question on my Asks page: you are my saviours from paralysed silence!

___

Hullo! I just found your blog today, and holy shit am I loving this or what. (I spent half Continue Reading

Loves: 3
Please wait...
Read More

Reader Q&A: Books, punishment, & humiliation

Some of these have questions been languishing in my inbox for a while (sorry about that, lovely question-askers). I keep saying that I love getting ‘asks’ (I do!), but then I hoard them like a little treasure trove in my inbox. I have that dilemma of deciding when the ‘asks’ become weighty enough for a blog post, and then I forget to keep track of how many there are.

I should just stop thinking that I can respond in a timely manner!

Regardless of timeliness (or not!), here we go…

___

Dear Ferns,

Can one ever have to many books? … Continue Reading

Loves: 3
Please wait...
Read More