… continued from On ‘becoming a Domme’ Part I
So I found a lovely vanilla submissive and had it all sorted, right?
Well, kind of.
I fucked that one up, but I learnt what I wanted in a man, and in a relationship, from being with him. And that was no small thing.
I had some other short term relationships after that which ‘worked’, but it was a little hit and miss to find what … Continue Reading
I was a pretty confident, smart, take-no-bullshit young woman, and I always attracted men who would fall over themselves to do what I wanted (even before I really figured out what I wanted). Given my later proclivities, I should have been happy with that, right?
But I found them insufferably dull because I would push at them, and they would roll over at the slightest hint of my disapproval, would become scared to even express … Continue Reading
Trust doesn’t flow one way. I know that’s obvious, but we D/s folks talk a lot about how the submissive has to trust their Domme and all that. Yes, true.
But as a dominant, I have to trust him also.
I have to trust him to accept my dominance happily, I have to trust him to glow under it, I have to trust that he will tell me when something is wrong, I have to … Continue Reading
Dommes have orgasms. Hopefully lots of them, whenever they want. Because orgasms are awesome!
However it’s not always that easy for everyone. Dumb Domme (do you follow her? No? You should!) has written in hilarious detail about her orgasm project.
After some 12 months of being together and lots of trying, she finally succeeded in having an orgasm with her boy, J. Yay!! *the crowd goes wild*.
Interestingly, it happened at a … Continue Reading
I often felt like my sexuality was being hijacked by someone else’s agenda or expectations and there was no room to express myself in the way I wanted, and it took me a long time to figure out why that was. Once I figured out that it was about control, I was able to better figure out how to find my complement.
… Continue Reading…dominance is how I show love, desire, affection, tenderness… I want to rip
The last BDSM event I went to was with e, there were maybe 200 people there.
He is quite involved in his local community and knows pretty much everyone. Obviously, I didn’t know anyone.
We hung around together, whispering and laughing, having some drinks, talking to people, and at some point we drifted apart.
I spent some time speaking to a rigger about a book project he was working on while he explained in gleeful … Continue Reading
There is a perception by some out there in the world that dominants enjoy conflict. Maybe some dominants do, but I’m not one of them.
One of the reasons I operate better in a D/s relationship is because I *dislike* conflict. I don’t like arguing, I don’t like fighting, and I *really* don’t like wasting time on stupid irrelevancies that shouldn’t even be a ‘thing’.
I want a harmonious, happy relationship where my sweetheart and … Continue Reading