Building trust

Trust doesn’t flow one way. I know that’s obvious, but we D/s folks talk a lot about how the submissive has to trust their Domme and all that. Yes, true.

But as a dominant, I have to trust him also.

I have to trust him to accept my dominance happily, I have to trust him to glow under it, I have to trust that he will tell me when something is wrong, I have to … Continue Reading

Loves: 24
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Dommes have orgasms

Dommes have orgasms. Hopefully lots of them, whenever they want. Because orgasms are awesome!

However it’s not always that easy for everyone. Dumb Domme (do you follow her? No? You should!) has written in hilarious detail about her orgasm project.

After some 12 months of being together and lots of trying, she finally succeeded in having an orgasm with her boy, J. Yay!! *the crowd goes wild*.

Interestingly, it happened at a … Continue Reading

Loves: 38
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I often felt like my sexuality was being hijacked by someone else’s agenda or expectations and there was no room to express myself in the way I wanted, and it took me a long time to figure out why that was. Once I figured out that it was about control, I was able to better figure out how to find my complement.

…dominance is how I show love, desire, affection, tenderness… I want to rip

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Loves: 2
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On socialising and being an introvert

The last BDSM event I went to was with e, there were maybe 200 people there.

He is quite involved in his local community and knows pretty much everyone. Obviously, I didn’t know anyone.

We hung around together, whispering and laughing, having some drinks, talking to people, and at some point we drifted apart.

I spent some time speaking to a rigger about a book project he was working on while he explained in gleeful … Continue Reading

Loves: 8
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Dominance and conflict

There is a perception by some out there in the world that dominants enjoy conflict. Maybe some dominants do, but I’m not one of them.

One of the reasons I operate better in a D/s relationship is because I *dislike* conflict. I don’t like arguing, I don’t like fighting, and I *really* don’t like wasting time on stupid irrelevancies that shouldn’t even be a ‘thing’.

I want a harmonious, happy relationship where my sweetheart and … Continue Reading

Loves: 3
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Brat Domme

There is a three year old who lives in my head… she might be a little older than that, but I imagine her at about three.

She is a selfish, demanding, unreasonable, spoilt little brat. She is not interested in logic, in reasoning, in consequences, she just wants things and she wants them NOW! And sometimes she *doesn’t* want things and will kick and scream and petulantly yell ‘No no NO!’

She can be incredibly … Continue Reading

Loves: 6
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Blogroll update

In lieu of actually writing anything of my own, I have updated my blogroll, peeking into the lives and thoughts of others and wanting to share them: “Look, look!!”

I’ve added vanilla links also for the first time. My tendency is towards beautiful things: those that make me laugh, yearn, smile or sigh. Happy-making things.

I suspect some of you perves might be tempted to skip over the vanilla goodness, but I have just … Continue Reading

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