Sent emails XLII – On audio porn

Subject: Oh. My. God.

Holy fuck that was hot. Wow.

I love that you said my name, I love that you begged a little, I love that you delayed (‘not yet, not yet’). So sexy, all of it.

I should have recorded my reaction.


Thank you.


I want more. I always want more. Greedy.

Send me your moans, your breathy whispers, your desperation, your sounds of pleasure: Details here.… Continue Reading

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Sent emails XLI: A balloon fetish

I replied to a personal ad offering chores in return for blowing up balloons. It was so unusual it caught my eye.

The honesty in his ad, which presented a pretty straightforward transactional exchange, was actually much more refreshing than the ‘NSA housework’ ones with hidden agendas.

I was honest about being more curious than interested, but you never know.


I saw your ad and I was curious if you wouldn’t mind indulging me.

I should say up-front that I am very cautious about allowing a stranger into my house, so I am not sure if I am really … Continue Reading

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My sent emails XL: On younger men

I guessed his age at late 20s: He’d just turned 30. He made a joke about his immaturity giving it away. Which was amusing, but entirely untrue. He’s an articulate, smart, engaging man who has only been in my inbox for a very short while, but already I enjoy him a lot.

It’s interesting, the age thing. I’ve written various pieces about it before, but my guessing relatively accurately how old he was led me to think a little more about how I knew.

I explained it like this:

…(generalisation warning…) some younger men have a quality about them that Continue Reading

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Kissing date

Kissing date: A date designed with the sole objective of kissing.

This is a completely different thing from a traditional date where the objective is ‘getting to know you’ or ‘doing something together’ or ‘sharing a meal’ or a combination of any of those things, where there *might* be some kissing at some stage if all goes well.

A kissing date is JUST FOR KISSING. I’m liking this idea for a whole bunch of reasons. Not least of which is: kissing!

With most dates, there is an initial attraction that made you want to go on the date, but … Continue Reading

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My sent emails XXXIX – OKCupid version

The OKCupid version (yes, I joined a vanilla dating site: more on this later!).

These are random emails I have sent out to men whose profiles I liked (as opposed to replies to emails that landed in my inbox).

To be clear, the first three were not potential matches: I just like to send out compliments to people when I see something interesting. It’s fun to say sweet things to people. It’s also stress free and you just never know what sort of conversations you might strike up out of a random compliment thrown into the void.


To local Continue Reading

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Him: Since my face is there [on a profile he just shared with me] I’ll note I am 23 years young, so hold your ‘potential’ horses. *smile*

Me: [after taking a look] Well aren’t you adorable *smile*!
I had picked you for much older when you first commented – you seem to have an easy confidence that generally comes with maturity (not age, necessarily).
I halted the horses. Anyway, how do you know they were even out, hmmm?

Him: I just knew.
(Thank you *beam*)

Me: *laugh* I will neither confirm nor deny that they were or were not out, … Continue Reading

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My sent emails XXXVIII

Hello Dave,

Thank you for the compliments, I do appreciate it. And it’s such a shame, I really liked your approach. You seem smart, funny, and possibly awesome.

But here’s the thing: You have lied to me once already. So now I can’t believe anything you say.

I gave you a chance to tell me that the torso shot is not of you. I know it’s a shot of Channing Tatum. I had hoped that you would just say so when I asked. Instead you pretended it was you.

I don’t know why you did that, but a lie … Continue Reading

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