I replied to a personal ad offering chores in return for blowing up balloons. It was so unusual it caught my eye.
The honesty in his ad, which presented a pretty straightforward transactional exchange, was actually much more refreshing than the ‘NSA housework’ ones with hidden agendas.
I was honest about being more curious than interested, but you never know.
I saw your ad and I was curious if you wouldn’t mind indulging me.
I should say up-front that I am very cautious about allowing a stranger into my house, so I am not sure if I am really a candidate for the exchange of service that you are offering. I don’t want you to feel misled by my interest since it is mostly idle curiosity both about your services and about your balloon fetish that prompted me to write.
Please feel free to beg off if you aren’t interested in answering just to satisfy my curiosity. I will completely understand.
IF I was to take you up on it, I’m mostly interested in cleaning duties, so I’m wondering about your experience. I’d like to know how you would go about cleaning the following (preferred product/s and technique):
- Glass doors (an example of the kind of answer I am after: Rub them all over with baby oil using my hands, then wipe off with a damp squid, and finish with a spray of eau de cologne)
- Sliding windows
- How do you ensure there are no streaks on glass?
- Glossy floor tiles
- Tiled decks
- Shower and glass shower screens
- Do you do car cleaning also?
Other questions to get an idea of your expectations:
- Is there a particular way you want to feel when doing chores, or are they simply something you do in exchange for the balloon blowing?
- How do you like to be instructed on the jobs you are being given?
- What do you like to wear while you are working?
- Do you need to be supervised when you are doing them?
- What do you expect to happen if something isn’t done right?
- What sort of interaction do you expect from me while you are working?
- What sort of timeframe do you offer service for (ie how many hours)?
- What days/times are you available?
On blowing up the balloons:
- I assume that the point is that you watch me blow up balloons?
- How many? Of the size in your photos?
- About how long does that take (they are huge balloons!)?
- Describe what that scenario would look like (where would I be, where would you be, what are our interactions like, what do you do with the balloons when they are blown up)
- Anything else that I would need to know about this if I was to decide this was a good idea?
Thank you for your indulgence (and again, please do feel free to say that you don’t want to answer my questions if there is no firm intent to use your services: I will not be offended at all).