Do you have any advice or a sort of primer for girls who want to experiment with being a domme? Like how to find partners, how to open that dialogue, what kind of ‘moves’ to try, what equipment is needed, how to explore the realm of activity… it really appeals to me, but I don’t know where to start.
Hello there anonymous asker,
These are great and huge questions.
My first piece of advice is … Continue Reading
I really want to do a bunch of ‘How to’ posts to cover ‘hints and tips for newbies’ because I see these kinds of questions all the time from both potential submissives and from potential dominants. They’re great questions that many people struggle with in one way or another.
Hello. when answering questions you often say to new Dom’s not take the airy fairy stuff like ‘I want to fulfil all your fantasies’ and ask … Continue Reading
Edited To Add: Here’s a link to the post with my answer to this question and advice for anyone who’s struggling with it in their dynamic:
When your submissive says ‘no’
I was going to write a post pontificating about this, as I tend to do, and then I thought I’d ask you all instead of blathering on about it from my own point of view.
For both submissives and dominants:
… Continue ReadingIn your relationship, what
Hello wonderful Ferns,
I have started seeing a beautiful boi, who is alpha plus in his day job. This also means he is extremely busy. Sometimes this makes it hard to dominate him as we kind of work to his clock. I am okish with this as I admire his work, actually it really turns me on.. blah blah ANYWAY… Have you been in a similar position and how did you manage it? Or, alternatively … Continue Reading
This cracker of a question was asked by someone on my Ask Me page all anonymous-like:
What is the best advice you can give to a new Domme? I’m feeling uncertain about how to blend the vanilla and the D/s in a new relationship.
It’s tough not only to be figuring out yourself and your needs but learning someone else’s, too! And yet difficult to separate the two.
It can be really tough, yes!!
I … Continue Reading
Dominance makes me vulnerable for lots of reasons. I have talked about vulnerability previously, but I don’t think I have tackled it as it relates to my dominance before, probably because it’s so complex.
Dominance makes me feel vulnerable because I expose myself in it: I give of myself, I share secrets, I let him in to see who I really am, I offer him my control, I trust him to revel in it, I … Continue Reading
I talked in my Masocast interview with the lovely UnspeakableAxe about compromising away happiness, and I’ve had a few private conversations about it since then, so I thought it was worth expanding on.
A lot of people seem to start relationships with “Oh, that’s okay, it’s not that important to me” and end up with “What the holy fuck happened here?”
There is always compromise in relationships, but there is a world of difference between … Continue Reading