Handy guide to interpreting BDSM personal ads

Here’s a handy guide to figuring out what people are saying in their kinky personal ads.

“looking for a true dom/sub”: I’m new here.

“I want complete control”: I haven’t thought about this one little bit.

“no limits”: I also haven’t thought about this one little bit.

“I’ll do anything”: As long as it’s hot like what I’ve seen in porn.

“discreet”: Having an affair.

“discrete”: Having an affair, but not very good with English.

“looking for a dominate/I am a dominate”: Aw, bless.

“I’m just an average person”: I’m boring.

“I’m not your average person”: I’m very boring.… Continue Reading

Loves: 16
Please wait...
Read More

The night I went to a BDSM club

© 'I rocked that corset' By and of Ferns

Crowdsourcing my corset choice was a wise move, and thank you again to those who participated. Above is the final outfit with the red and black corset as the star, the gorgeous heels, and some nail porn for those who like that (and come on, who doesn’t like that?!). The theme was ‘back to school’, so I’m claiming ‘school marm’, and I did bring some dark-rimmed glasses to look disparagingly over the top of.

So how was my evening at a BDSM club? Sit down my darlings, grab a drink, and I will tell you all about it.

We agreed … Continue Reading

Loves: 36
Please wait...
Read More

Here is your princess

Still from Aldous Harding's Horizon video

I’ve not felt much like writing, so let me instead give you the gift that is Aldous Harding, a New Zealand artist whose songs and film clips are utterly compelling. I’m a little obsessed with her.

Let me put the water in the bowl
For your wounds, babe
Let me fill you up with the fingers of love
You can’t lose babe
When you watch me play, does it feel bad, darlin’
When they choose me?

Here is your princess
And here is the horizon… Continue Reading

Loves: 8
Please wait...
Read More

More on introversion

Public domain mark'Untitled' by Unknown

I’ve talked about how introversion feels to me before, but it’s so strange, I’m trying to get a more precise explanation.

At its simplest, the Jungian version of introvert/extrovert is that the former get their energy from being alone and the latter get their energy from being with others. It’s a spectrum and I think a lot of people hover somewhere around the middle. I’m towards the extreme end of introversion. Being introverted doesn’t mean I’m shy or lack confidence or am socially unskilled or any of those things, it’s pretty much purely about energy.

Socialising is an energy drain … Continue Reading

Loves: 22
Please wait...
Read More


As all self-respecting introverts know, if you do a bunch of socialising, you need a recovery day. Or two. Maybe three.

If you aren’t an introvert, or aren’t close to any, that might seem a bit odd.

But I am one, deeply and to the core, and I can tell you, after I’ve cycled up the energy for peopling, and then socialised my face off, I’m an empty husk afterwards.

So today was a recovery day.

My lovely guests brought me chocolates, which were very much appreciated in my recovery stash (thank you!).

As well as scoffing all of those, … Continue Reading

Loves: 21
Please wait...
Read More

The Domme-estic Goddess cooking channel

© 'Kink-party shoes' by & of Ferns, Domme Chronicles

Welcome to my cooking channel for Domme-estic Goddesses who don’t cook.

I call it ‘WHAT?! No That’s Too Hard, I’m Not Making That!’.

Rolls off the tongue doesn’t it? :)

What might you expect if you come to my place, what am I serving my new kinky friends?

For the upcoming pre-BDSM-club gathering at my place, my invitation was simply for ‘a glass of champagne before the event’.

Of course with champagne, you need snacks. That goes without saying. I can, of course, just buy goodies at the shop, but if I want it to be a more personal … Continue Reading

Loves: 15
Please wait...
Read More

Kinky socialising

A few things have happened in the last few months that have made me feel isolated. I’d say ‘lonely’, but I’m not sure I’m quite there yet.

I may be quibbling. ‘Lonely’ sounds like something more emotional, something sadder than how I feel. ‘Lonely’ requires a craving for company, and a sadness for not having it, and it’s not quite that. ‘Isolated’ feels more ‘I am alone and if I don’t have options to remedy that, I don’t think it’s good for my mental or emotional health’. Am I quibbling? Probably.

A recent mess of D-R-A-M-A with my bestie’s girlfriend … Continue Reading

Loves: 9
Please wait...
Read More
1 2 3 5