First meeting and onwards

My First and I met in a BDSM chat room, on IRC. I can’t remember the details. What I remember is that we were attracted to each other, got chatting, emailing, talking, we exchanged photos. There was definitely something there.

He was some 6 years younger at 25, lived about 900kms away, had just finished his masters. He was restless, was looking to move, he was unhappy where he was, I can’t remember why exactly. … Continue Reading

Loves: 10
Please wait...
Read More

Past-me

I found a copy of my old hand-coded blog from the time my First and I were in our relationship. I wonder if there was a private journal also, but I haven’t taken the time to really look for it. My blog at the time was also BDSM-focussed (oh, what a surprise!), documenting my early explorations and relationships, but the content is frustratingly sporadic and incomplete. My play posts about my First were based on … Continue Reading

Loves: 8
Please wait...
Read More

Showing off

I like it when he shows off for me.

In the beginning, when he doesn’t know me so well, it happens inadvertently. And I love that. It’s a huge compatibility marker for me. When he unconsciously says something in a particular way, moves just like ‘that’, gives me a look, does something that hits me like a freight train and I’m left reeling. He might, at that stage, know me well enough to see the … Continue Reading

Loves: 10
Please wait...
Read More

Braille

They look impossibly soft, your lips. Cushiony silken velvet. They beckon me when your mouth forms words. I know you are speaking to me, I’m listening, truly I am. And my eyes will flick up to yours when I answer, when I move the conversation forward, then they will drop to your lips again as you speak to me some more.

I’m hypnotised by the movement of your mouth, the glimpses of your teeth, the … Continue Reading

Loves: 12
Please wait...
Read More

Early sexual experiences Part 2

Continued from Part 1

Both this and my last post were prompted by this musing on twitter. My twitter comments were in turn prompted by seeing yet ANOTHER young woman asking for help to fix what was wrong with her that she couldn’t come from intercourse.

early sex

It hurts my heart that young women think there is something wrong with them because they can’t come from penis in vagina (PIV) sex. And obviously the men … Continue Reading

Loves: 11
Please wait...
Read More

Early sexual experiences Part 1

I had my first non-solo orgasm with my boyfriend when I was about 16 or 17.

I was in my last year of high school, he was a year or two older, was at university.

Unlike other girls of my age, our dates involved going out for dinner. I don’t know why. Maybe I saw it in movies and insisted that that was what a date looked like. We would mostly go to a pub … Continue Reading

Loves: 10
Please wait...
Read More

Patterns

I just read this post on Ann St Vincent’s blog, and it prompted more thoughts on habitual patterns of behaviour.

It’s easy to see patterns from the outside. So very easy.

People you know choosing the same kinds of partners (emotionally unavailable, clingy, distant, unreliable, incompatible etc etc), having the exact same interactions, running into the exact same problems over and over and over.

When you read a blog where someone shares their life, it’s … Continue Reading

Loves: 7
Please wait...
Read More