e[lust] #102

Welcome to Elust 102

The only place where the smartest and hottest sex bloggers are featured under one roof every month. Whether you’re looking for sex journalism, erotic writing, relationship advice or kinky discussions it’ll be here at Elust. Want to be included in Elust #103 Start with the rules, come back February 1st to submit something and subscribe to the RSS feed for updates!


~ This Month’s Top Three Posts ~

Baby, baby…

O Come All Ye Faithful

Christmas Eve


~ Featured Post (Molly’s Picks) ~

Not “only” CP

Whispered Obscenities

~Readers Choice from Sexbytes ~

Happily Barren

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Loves: 3
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Happy Femdom Story: puppykitty

This adorably happy story was posted in a discussion group and I loved it so much, I asked puppykitty if he would allow me to share it. To my delight he said yes :).

I’d really love to have more joyful tales to share, so if you have one, please see the link at the bottom.



Author: puppykitty

From the moment I first spoke to her there was just… something… that made me keep coming back to try to find her again.

At the start it was just chatting and the D/s by a distance as that’s what we were able to have with where we were. I knew she was special and I knew I had strong feelings for her, but I was a cynic about relationships and kept my feelings pretty much restrained. I was a real pain in the ass to get to know and kept running away when things were hard.

I don’t know when I admitted to myself I loved her.

I remember a moment when I was coming back from visiting a friend in Amsterdam and on the coach on the way home I received an email saying due to family circumstances, she had to stop being online and let me go. This was ok, we’d agreed way before that family came first and if things meant we had to say goodbye then just be brave and do it. God it was hard though. I remember being on that coach and being in floods of tears the entire way home from the airport. I was heartbroken and devastated, but I was proud of her and really hoped things worked out.

The world turned, things changed. She had already helped me get through my life changes and when things changed for her I could be a friend again, and help her through the same. I was pretty much determined though to keep it as friends as the heartbreak had been so real (and crazy when it’s someone you’d not been able to meet). So I kept some arms distance, but eventually we said lets go away and meet up. So we met in NY, hundreds of miles for her, thousands of miles for me. I remember that moment vividly, pacing around the airport (apparently with wires hanging out of my rucksack, looking terribly nervous and suspicious) and she came out the arrival gate, tired, exhausted from travelling and working nights, and I took care of her and she basically slept for the next 24hrs. I remember desperately wanting to hold her hand at any opportunity and wanting to kiss her. This person I’d known online for so long and been through so much with was a real life person and this real life person was so much more than I’d let them be in my head.

I’m vague on details, I’m guessing it was coming to the end of the visit and all I could think of was I didn’t want to let this woman go. So we are sat in Whole Foods having something to eat, in NY. All this is bubbling up inside of me, I don’t want to let this go, this is something special, but I don’t want to ruin a friendship with someone so important to me by totally misreading how she felt. Apparently I rambled incoherently, sitting in the store, asking if I could have her collar back. It had been online before, we’d had to let it go, but I wanted her, I needed her, and yes I loved her. Asking for her collar back on me was all that and more all mixed up in a completely un-understandable nervous blurt where (just for a change :P) I went round in circles until she could follow what I was trying to say. She said yes and so continued a journey we are still on, 12 odd years after we first ran into each other in chat and 9? (i am so bad at dates) since that Whole Foods burble.

I later found out she had no intention of letting me go again and already considered me hers, she just hadn’t got around to telling me yet. Apparently if you drool on someone when asleep you have to keep them. She’s a lot smarter than me.


This post is part of an ongoing project to share positive happy femdom relationship stories. If you have a story that you are willing to share, I’d love to host it. Please check out my call out post for details and send it on to me.

For an entire book of Happy Femdom Stories, click here.

Loves: 18
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After the sunshine

Sunshine being a beautiful thing in my cuffs

Hello sunshine,

I wanted to drop you a longer note to say thank you for such a great visit.

You are such a lovely thing and it is rare for me that I didn’t feel like I had to hide in my cave to recover from spending time with someone.

I know how hard you worked to make sure that I was happy and comfortable and I see it and I really appreciate that.

Your company was fun, your hosting was immaculate, your cooking was great, and the rempeyek was such a special treat.

I love the way you take direction: With a willingness and an open-hearted enthusiasm. I know it’s part of how you are, and it’s rare. I am sure I have told you that before. But I’m saying it again.

The kissing was my favourite, also cuddles* and the rope and massage and getting to introduce you to different sensations, and horny-sunshine is so much fun. And you looked so good in cuffs.
(*that’s NOT how cuddles work!)

I so enjoyed you: you are a complete delight and thank you for sharing your time and your sweetness and your submission with me.


Loves: 25
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Christmas day

Goodies from my ex *swoon*

Hot here, brutally bright sunshine, warm breeze, not a cloud in the sky.

I am waiting for my family to arrive. I am hosting this year. They will be stupidly early for lunch. That’s how they are.

I can’t cook, but I will do my best. Crispy garlic chicken with hasselback potatoes and a dessert that is essentially pavlova in a glass. The amazing package of goodies I got from my ex will provide the best of the meal: Home made snacks that actually take skill to make.

We will drink champagne and watch people in the park do their family things.

We are lucky. I know this. For all sorts of reasons.

I have organised the to-and-fro for my flight to visit the sunshiney man over New Year. I’m looking forward to it. Unusual for me: I am feeling it as a respite from peopling. It’s a positive and unexpected feeling.

For those who struggle at this time of year, I send you good wishes and hope you have the space and energy to do something sweet for yourself.

Happy Christmas to those who celebrate it *throws glitter*.

Loves: 17
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Share Our Shit Saturday #3 #SOSS

This #SOSS meme is a reaction to social media platforms silencing creators of adult content.

I’m making a more concerted effort to share talented and interesting people’s work, and at times I’m going to step out of the F/m domain for it because the impact of making sex bloggers and writers invisible is wide.

Her exists and she is us by Ava Ex Machina

Voluntary feminization #14 by Alex Law

Eyes on the prize by Paltego

What it Feels Like to Hurt a Man Until it Makes You Have an Orgasm by Bitchy Jones (yes her blog has been dead for a million years: I don’t care. She was writing brutal truths about femdom before anyone and it’s the realest shit you’ll ever read)

Loves: 11
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e[lust] #101 #SOSS

Delighted to be in the top three picks in such great company for the last e[lust] of the year :).

Welcome to Elust 101

The only place where the smartest and hottest sex bloggers are featured under one roof every month. Whether you’re looking for sex journalism, erotic writing, relationship advice or kinky discussions it’ll be here at Elust. Want to be included in Elust #102 Start with the rules, come back January 1st to submit something and subscribe to the RSS feed for updates!


~ This Month’s Top Three Posts ~

Email from my ex-boy < = Me! :) Geography

Two’s Company, Three’s A Crowd


~ Featured Post (Molly’s Picks) ~

Why should we call ourselves sinners?
Repeated Patterns

~Readers Choice from Sexbytes ~

Fuck Yourself


*You really should consider adding your popular posts here too*
All blogs that have a submission in this edition must re-post this digest from tip-to-toe on their blogs within 7 days. Re-posting the photo is optional and the use of the “read more…” tag is allowable after this point. Thank you, and enjoy!

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Love: 1
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How to make your first BDSM scene amazing

This is my first ‘How To’ guide for new dominant women, and it’s designed as a bit of hand-holding for women who want practical information for their first foray into BDSM play.

Dominant women are strong and awesome and they WILL find their own way and their own style, but first times can be daunting for anyone, and getting practical help can be difficult. This is the book I wish I had when I first started out and was nervously anticipating my first actual-for-real play with my first actual-for-real submissive.

It’s not prescriptive, it’s not ‘you must’ or ‘one true way’-ish, it’s a stepping stone for nervous newbies who just want a firm footing from which to make their leap.

As with all of my ‘How To’ Femdom series guides, it’s short, sharp, and actionable. There are 13 practical steps and tips to help new dominant women plan, manage, and enjoy their first BDSM scene.

It covers how to:

  • Choose what activities to do in your scene
  • Put together the flow
  • Start and end well
  • Look after your submissive in scene
  • Build your confidence and manage your nerves before and during play
  • Handle it when something doesn’t work
  • Leave your submissive wanting more
  • Do aftercare

BONUS: Free BDSM Scene Worksheet that will walk you through using the steps described in the book.

If you think this would be useful for you or a friend, you can pick it up on Amazon:
How To Make Your First BDSM Scene Amazing: For Dominant Women.

Loves: 10
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