Femdom vs vanilla dating: Different approaches and why

Public domain mark'Untitled' by Pxhere

Femdom dating vs vanilla dating is like chalk and cheese for me.

I mentioned in a previous post that on the vanilla dating site, I take a very different approach to ‘when to meet’ than I do on BDSM sites.

There are a number of reasons for that that range from the obvious and simple to something more complex.

The first and biggest thing that influences my decision on ‘when to meet’ is that I’m an introvert and I get no pleasure or fun out of meeting people just because. So anyone who says ‘yeah, but it’s just a coffee … Continue Reading

Loves: 16
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My Gentleman: Part III

© 'Date #4' by and of Ferns

Our last date was a week and a half ago. I wanted to talk about his email, to see if we could shake something loose to take us forward.

We’d had trouble lining up a time for our date, partly him, partly me, and he rescheduled the day before we were to meet. I was soon to find out why that was *cue dramatic music*.

This was the most dates I’ve been on with anyone for a million years (though arguably, having multiple-days-at-a-time of a visiting submissive with the requisite compressed ‘dating’ timeline is comparable, it doesn’t really … Continue Reading

Loves: 32
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My (vanilla) Gentleman: Part II

© 'Champagne at lunch' by & of Ferns

Part I here.

The email address I had given MG very early on is not one I use often, stranger-email if you like. The notifications for it pop up every 24 hours or something complicated, so I didn’t see his message until the day after he sent it.

It was long, entitled ‘The imagination works overtime sometimes’, and he acknowledged that I might not like it.

He started with the positive, as all good sandwich-makers do :P.

Told me that I’m ‘amazing, gorgeous, intelligent… witty and funny’ (I so am!).

His concerns were in the middle there. And … Continue Reading

Loves: 16
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My (vanilla) Gentleman

© 'Champagne at lunch' by & of Ferns

The third date with My Gentleman was a marathon of some eleven and a half hours.

The initial plan was a drive to a cute coastal town, go for a stroll through the markets, grab some lunch down there.

It was low stress (a big deal for my introvert heart), comfortable, easy. Chatting randomly about nothing in particular and everything.

We stopped for a glass of champagne (me) and beer (him) at the town’s only pub after lunch, sat in the beer garden surrounded by trees, glimpses of the river.

After the drive home to mine, we ventured out onto … Continue Reading

Loves: 15
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French vanilla dating

© 'Date night, killer boots & all' by & of Ferns

Femdom dating, vanilla style…

I have not come up with a nickname for him instinctively. I’m not sure why exactly. Someone clever on Twitter suggested ‘French vanilla’ (as in ‘vanilla with a hint of more’), which would be super cute if he was actually French :). I’m going to go with My Gentleman (MG) for now, because he so is and it’s quite lovely.

Our second date was a traditional old-style dinner date and I liked that a lot.

I genuinely cannot remember the last time I had a very ‘normal’ date (not anyone’s fault, just that the submissives I’ve … Continue Reading

Loves: 22
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Vanilla Date #3, second date!

This femdom went on another vanilla date… *gasp*.

Let me catch you up here first…

I texted the Hot Older Man and told him I wasn’t in the right headspace for dating. After our date, I’d said be happy to meet up again when I got back from my break away, but it wasn’t feeling right. I was peopled out from peopling and was working way too hard to mentally build up interest that wasn’t really there. He replied politely, wished me well. Mature men are wonderful.

Soon after that, I went onto the vanilla dating site to … Continue Reading

Loves: 28
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Happy femdom story: Theriac

Theriac commented on a blog post here about his recent collaring and I invited him to share his happy femdom story.

I’m delighted that he did. It’s super sweet, and goodness knows we need more of that :).
___

Author: Theriac

Ten years.

Ten years I went without a lover or a partner. I had friends and family, people I was close to, but no romantic partners. Not one.

I had known since I was quite young that I was profoundly, intrinsically submissive, but I spent my Teens and Twenties running from those feelings, downplaying them, pushing them into the … Continue Reading

Loves: 16
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