… continued from On ‘becoming a Domme’ Part I
So I found a lovely vanilla submissive and had it all sorted, right?
Well, kind of.
I fucked that one up, but I learnt what I wanted in a man, and in a relationship, from being with him. And that was no small thing.
I had some other short term relationships after that which ‘worked’, but it was a little hit and miss to find what I knew I wanted. Knowing meant that I could recognise it when I found it, but it didn’t actually make it easier to find.
Then one day I discovered Internet Relay Chat (IRC). I have no idea how or why I found a BDSM chat room there because I’m pretty sure I wasn’t deliberately looking for it (I could be wrong, my memory is appalling!), but I was kind of cyber slutting around at the time, so probably just thought it looked like fun.
I guess they all assumed I was dominant because my nick was capped, and suddenly I had this strange experience of men being solicitous and polite and calling me Ma’am and I thought “Oh my, yes please!”
And so, I started exploring, and chatting to people, and learning, and I thought, “Holy fuck, THIS IS ME!!!!”
I found an American submissive to play with online (this back in the days before skype or digital cameras, and when international phone calls were prohibitively expensive, so it was very limited), and I stomped about all ordery and demanding as one might expect from a new Domme testing the waters. He was a sweetheart and I still recall him fondly so many years later.
Then, when I was ready, I called myself a ‘Domme’ and stepped out into the world.