Setting expectations

All going to plan, the cougarling will arrive here on Saturday afternoon after a million hours of driving. He will stay for a few days (not with me: that’s waaay ‘too much too soon’). How long exactly depends on how it goes.

I sent him an outline of my expectations:


What I expect from the visit is that we will date like normal people dating, though obviously we will be spending far more time together than would be usual because you aren’t local so we don’t have the luxury of catching up once or twice a week over a period of time. It’s difficult not to place some pressure on this because we’re trying to decide if there’s something worth pursuing, but I want our time together to be really relaxed and with as little pressure as possible.

So we will have time together doing normal things (lunch out, a picnic, dinner, walk on the beach, drinks at the surf club, swim in the surf, a bike ride, a drive, kayak on the river, the gym (if renovations are done), a movie etc). And we will talk. A lot. See if we can keep each other’s interest, see if our relationship styles align, see if there is attraction, see if there is chemistry (both vanilla and D/s), see if it’s flirty and easy and hellishly fun. In between those things, we will go back to our respective homes and regroup, reflect on how it’s going and etc (that is, I don’t expect this to default into some 24/7 thing: it’s too much too soon even if we get on famously, I will need time to myself).

I hope there will be kissing: in fact, I might demand that early on just in case it all goes to hell *smile*. Because kissing!

IF the chemistry is right, I’d be expecting to explore some D/s to see how it feels (frankly, if the chemistry is right, I expect this to happen without any effort at all because I will be comfortable to relax and push at you a little and you will be comfortable to acquiesce), and I’d be happy to explore some play (we will talk about what kind beforehand: what I might feel like depends entirely on how we relate). I looked to see if there was a rope workshop to go to on the weekend because I thought that would be fun, but there’s not. Boo.

Let me know if that’s in line with what you were expecting and if you have any concerns or things you want to raise with me.


It was indeed in line with his expectations and he didn’t raise any concerns.

So now I just have to wait for him to show up and hope that we set the world on fire.

Loves: 18
Please wait…

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    1. Thanks for the good wishes. We seem to be well aligned, so now we just have to wait and see. I keep hope pretty firmly under wraps these days, which is a little sad to me, but disappointment is much worse if I expect too much.


  1. I am both clapping happy clap and doing a Mr Burns evil wrangling of hands,…
    hope it’s going well

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