I rarely talk about potentials here for a bunch of complicated reasons.
Firstly because they usually know about my blog and talking about my feelings while exploring something new is confusing and destructive. If I write about it honestly, it’s more information than I am ready to share with them. Since these things are always tenuous and volatile, my thoughts are often all over the place, and blurting them out when they are fleeting and changeable can cause all sorts of confusion and hurt.
Secondly because conversations that have the potential to turn into something have pretty much equal potential to fizzle out as quickly as they fire up.
Thirdly, and further to the above, I would seem psychotic if I talked about potentials too early BECAUSE they usually end up going nowhere. I exchange emails with quite a few men (at the moment that includes vanilla and submissive men) and the majority of those die a quiet death with barely a murmur. Not anyone’s fault: normally it’s just that we can’t generate sufficient interest to continue the conversation.
All of that to say that I’m reticent to talk about this since it’s still really early days, but I’m doing it anyway because it’s on my mind.
I’ve dubbed him ‘the cougarling’ because he’s 14 years my junior and I pounced on him with an introductory email.
I found him on Fetlife: an articulate and intelligent profile, some thoughtful writing, a beautiful body, some really cute face pictures. I sent him a flirty little note (I totally cougared all up on him, and YES, I am using that as a verb now… *laugh*).
We’ve been exchanging emails for about 2 weeks now. He’s impressive in email, though the slow pace of it has had me struggling to get a real feel for him. We had our first phone call last night. An hour and half of gentle exploration. It was easy, we laughed quite a bit, he’s cheeky with me, and very literal-rational which means he wants to argue about things with me (he’ll soon learn that I’m always right :P).
I’ve banned him from reading my blog and my book (which he bought soon after I emailed him and he’d already read half of it before I imposed the ban). It’s too much information and I want him to judge me and our potential on our interactions and not have all of the weight of ‘Ferns’ behind it.
As with all of these things, it can’t be simple. He’s in my state, but essentially a day’s drive away (and nowhere near an airport to turn that distance into a simple flight). Still, we both agree that the potential is worth him making that trip, which he’s doing next weekend. If there’s something worth pursuing we have an obvious logistical challenge, but we’re both choosing to deal with that if something eventuates rather than considering it a deal breaker.
Did I mention that the cougarling is 6’3? With a six pack? Hell yes, a visit is worthwhile…