Non-monogamy and me

Peroxide over at Submissive in Seattle wrote an introspective post about polyamory for the mono-amorous where he talks about what it was like to be in a poly relationship when he’s mono-amorous. Short version: it’s tough. Long version: go read it. I’ve been meaning to write something about non-monogamy (really, non-monoamory, but god, what an awkward word!) for a while. […]

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Oh, there I am

Earlier this year, I talked about how I worry sometimes that I’ve lost the hunger that drives my dominance. It doesn’t exist in a vacuum, it only comes alive when I have someone I want to aim it at.  When I haven’t felt it for a while, it becomes like some distant thing. Vaguely remembered, but shadowy, […]

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Snippets of bambi

I wrote about how I am trying to figure out why it feels strange to write about bambi, but I still want to do it because those moments gave me something lovely, even if they were only fleeting. So here they are: random snippets of heat and beauty… — He sweetly fell asleep early one evening, one wrist still cuffed to the bed. […]

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Writing about moments

I want to write more about bambi, snippets of hot sweetness, things that make me smile, but it feels weird. I can’t quite put my finger on why. I have never had trouble writing about boys and sweetness after the fact before. Maybe because it’s done, it feels like I am romanticising something that didn’t work out, […]

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Bambi post-mortem

Bambi So this is the ‘what happened’ post. Firstly let me say that Bambi is fucking lovely. Seriously. He’s adorable and smart and sweet and willing and funny and sexy and passionate and quirky and pretty and and… *shrug*… all sorts of good things. We just… didn’t work together. Intellectually and emotionally, we got nothin’. We talked about it, […]

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Exercise, emotions and sex

A body project check-in… As a spoiler, I have not been doing so great in the last couple of months since I last updated on March 18. Note the consolation beach photo instead of a bicep photo (which I haven’t had the desire to take in case it’s demotivating!).  Read on to find out what’s been going on… I am in a privileged position with my body project because I have the freedom and time to do what I want when I want, […]

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Things we did and things we did not do…

Play with bambi Things we did: A list.  kissing body washing flogging tease and denial short term chastity caning paddling spanking edging arse play punching nipple clamps more kissing bondage (rope) cuffs & clips body worship wartenberg wheel toenail polish blindfold wrestling domestic service biting more kissing sex (oral, PIV, hand jobs, fingers) cuddling cock sucking (Realdoe) petting face slapping hair pulling  Things we did not do: A list.  more of ALL of the above: harder, different, softer, sideways, backwards, longer, slower, faster, more intense, MOAR… JUST MOAR… … […]

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Introvert recovery

I had a month with bambi, a week and a half to myself after he left, then this past weekend, I had four days staying with my sister and niece. If you aren’t an introvert, this doesn’t sound like anything much. If you ARE an introvert, you might understand when I say that I am tapped out. Socially and emotionally, […]

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Thoughts and routines

I want to write glorious things. I want to write about snippets of play with bambi, I want to write about how I am feeling, I want to write about what happened, I want to write about what’s next, I want to write about a lot of things. Truth is, I am scattered. My head is all over the place. It’s not necessarily bad. It’s just… […]

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Post-bambi

I will probably write more about bambi in the days to come, but in the meantime, this is really just a catch-up post. Bambi left on Wednesday. It’s now Saturday.  I’m doing okay. I expected to fall into a big messy pit of badness, but so far, I’m fine. It feels wrong to say “I’m fine”, as if it’s a mean or disrespectful thing to say somehow. […]

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