Being submissive can be scary

When I met my boy, he was scared, as many newbies are scared.

Scared that he wouldn’t know what to do ‘as a submissive’.

Scared that this D/s thing wouldn’t be what he expected.

Scared that the reality wouldn’t live up to what was in his head, in his imagination.

Scared that he wasn’t really submissive, that he was ‘faking it’ somehow, fooling himself.

Scared that he wasn’t really a masochist, that his fantasies …

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Submissive man seeks casual play partner

Ten days ago, my sweet friend Peroxide placed a personal ad in location-specific groups for a female dominant. He is looking purely for casual play.

Charming young sub, seeking casual play partner

Hi, I’m Peroxide, I write Submissive in Seattle and I’m looking for a nice lady to be my casual play partner.

I don’t do sex or D/s outside of a LTR, so this would just be a Top/bottom thing.

I’m not terribly experienced,

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Profile: From ‘no’ to ‘oh yes please’

With all the talk of profiles that is always going on, and my ‘No, bad profile, bad!!’ thing, I have permission from the lovely man who prompted this post to show you ‘before’ and ‘after’.

He turned up on my ‘who’s viewing me’ list on CollarMe, so I went and took a look at his profile. It looked like this:


This boy needs to learn who comes first.

Although he’s a successful and professional …

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How to beg

I was a huge huge fan of Bitchy Jones’s Diary. Her blog is still on my blog roll even though she stopped writing there (and removed a lot of her content) in February 2010  *sad face*. But I just discovered that I saved a couple of my favourite posts… wheeee!!!

I am really not so big on begging because it has to be sincere and believable to work for me, and most men …

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Profile advice for submissive men

Sometimes I send unsolicited profile advice out into the world to submissive men who seem sincere, but who are not presenting themselves at all well. The email is usually triggered by them attracting my attention in some way (an interesting comment in a discussion, them showing up in ‘who’s viewing me’ on CM, or something similar). This leads me to take a look at their profile, where sometimes, I get that confused look on my …

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User names and you…

User names are like a signature on the internet or in the community. I figure if you chose it, you did so to specifically and unequivocally communicate something about yourself.

That being the case, many are a complete turn off for me.

If a submale has a user name that communicates an icky message, he is going to have to work *extra* hard to make me believe he’s actually an intelligent, thinking human being.

I …

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Scammers come in different flavours

So you got contacted by an uber hottie… whoo hoo!! She’s from your home town and she is super keen on you and thinks you are special… that’s so awesome!! She wants to claim you as her slave… yesss!!! You’ve been talking for a couple of weeks… it’s going great! She seems to be moving really fast, but ok, that’s fine… good even! And she hasn’t asked you for money so SHUT UP FERNS!!

There …

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