en·vy
/ˈenvē/
Noun
A feeling of discontented or resentful longing aroused by someone else’s possessions, qualities, or luck.
Verb
Desire to have a quality, possession, or other attribute belonging to (someone else): “he envied tall people”; “I envy Jane her happiness”.
—
Envy whispers in my ear and tells me that I’m not happy, that I am missing something.
I don’t normally have envy. I try and tell it to fuck off, it doesn’t belong … Continue Reading
I want to write, but my head is still scattered. Last time I said this, I posted a butt picture as a kind of placeholder because the use of actual words seemed too big of a stretch. It didn’t help, I still feel the same. I am not really sure why it’s happening, but I don’t like it much. In fact, I don’t like it at all.
I have 65 draft posts here in WordPress, … Continue Reading
I had a scary dream.
I was in a car, the driver’s seat. The car was stationery in some kind of parking lot. In front of me a barrier, some bushes.
Someone banged on my window with a fist, aggressive.
I opened the window, regretting it almost immediately.
Outside the car, I could see the figure of a man. He was big, fat, his stomach at my window essentially taking up the entire space.
I … Continue Reading
I had a month with bambi, a week and a half to myself after he left, then this past weekend, I had four days staying with my sister and niece.
If you aren’t an introvert, this doesn’t sound like anything much.
If you ARE an introvert, you might understand when I say that I am tapped out. Socially and emotionally, I am completely empty.
And this happens even though the people I was … Continue Reading
I tend to think that I don’t really use Australianisms or slang so much, but then, I WOULD think that wouldn’t I? Some words or phrases are just so uniquely ‘Australian’, and I don’t realise it until I use them and find that they are completely incomprehensible to someone who isn’t Australian. It’s even funnier when I’m called on them (“Why do you say it like that?!”) because there are heaps that I can’t actually … Continue Reading
I want to write glorious things. I want to write about snippets of play with bambi, I want to write about how I am feeling, I want to write about what happened, I want to write about what’s next, I want to write about a lot of things.
Truth is, I am scattered. My head is all over the place.
It’s not necessarily bad.
It’s just… confusing in there.
Sometimes my head swims with random … Continue Reading
I will probably write more about bambi in the days to come, but in the meantime, this is really just a catch-up post.
Bambi left on Wednesday. It’s now Saturday.
I’m doing okay.
I expected to fall into a big messy pit of badness, but so far, I’m fine.
It feels wrong to say “I’m fine”, as if it’s a mean or disrespectful thing to say somehow. As if it is an insult to bambi. … Continue Reading