Q&A: Reconciling dominance and love

This from r/FemdomCommunity (edited).

Fellow dommes, how do you reconcile the need for dominance and power with the need for support and love in a relationship?

I’m fairly new to BDSM and have never experienced it in a relationship of any kind. I’ve had relationships, and I’ve played plenty, but never with the same people. I know others do it all the time, but in my mind I can’t envison how it’s possible…

Also, I as a domme, feel incredibly aroused by a man believing that I am the most badass, sucessful, beautiful, independent, confident woman around. Submissive men like … Continue Reading

Loves: 13
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Happy femdom story – TheDV & TheDVsFox

I’m so delighted to share another wonderful story from a happy femdom couple who found each other on Collarme.com (now Collarspace) some 7 years ago and never looked back. Heartwarming and lovely and happily-ever-after-ish *happy sigh*.

Author: TheDV

I moved to Tennessee in January of 2007 to be closer to my slave a the time, Angel. He and I had a rocky relationship face to face that did not translate well from what we had online. Fox had started college as a freshman and was living away from home in the dorms. He decided to start his search since … Continue Reading

Loves: 15
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Casual maybe

I’m shit at casual anything. I’m normally either all-in and want to give and get everything, or I’m out. Because ‘meh’. But sometimes, rarely, I am open to other options.

Considering service submission was one example, and being open to something non-LTR-ish with the cougarling is another.

I offered to see the cougarling again in my last email to him even though I didn’t think that developing a long term relationship over distance was going to work for us:

I enjoyed so much about our time together: you’re lovely, and you’re so beautiful, and I feel like there is more

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Loves: 10
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e[lust] #83

Welcome to Elust #83

The only place where the smartest and hottest sex bloggers are featured under one roof every month. Whether you’re looking for sex journalism, erotic writing, relationship advice or kinky discussions it’ll be here at Elust. Want to be included in Elust #84 Start with the rules, come back July 1st to submit something and subscribe to the RSS feed for updates!


~ This Month’s Top Three Posts ~

London Crows and London Kisses

I am Her. She is Me.

You Say You Want to Cook for Me


~ Featured Post (Molly’s Picks)

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Anatomy of a disappointment

I hate to be disappointed. Truly. But I also don’t like to be cynical. It’s a tricky balance, but when I’m optimistically excited, the disappointment is, of course, worse than when I don’t expect much. Not least because I feel foolish and naive for being hopeful.

So the unfolding of events with the 24 year old:

Thursday before last: He mentioned eating his ejaculate, asked if I would help him with that. It was in the context of a chat about his orgasm control and I was fine with him asking, but it made me realise that he had … Continue Reading

Loves: 8
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Reader Q&A: Food things, ghosting & teletubbies [audio]


In this episode of ‘Ferns does Q&A’, we have the following:

  • What is your star sign?
  • Teletubbies question :P
  • What do you think of ‘Steak and Blowjob’ day [on re-listening, I hate how I just went along with the premise that ‘Valentines Day is for the ladieeezzz’: This is what happens when I do the talking thing and can’t edit!]
  • Have you tried sploshing?
  • Alternative food-related  label to replace ‘vanilla’
  • Maaaaaaaaaaatt Daaaaaaamon!!
  • Women on vanilla dating sites: what the fuck?
  • Do you like spicy foods?
  • Last cookie on earth: What would Ferns do?!
  • Have you ever fantasised about eating
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Loves: 4
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A second chance

The 23 year old landed back in my inbox around the beginning of May, he had had a birthday, his profile showed he was 24 now.

He was a little cautious with me, but still the same articulate, curious boy. Just a little less bouncy.

He’d had a couple of service experiences with different dominants in the ensuing time, but said he kept coming back to our conversations, stressed how important they were to him, thanked me for what he learnt from them. I suspect I was the only one who challenged him, who wanted to talk to him to … Continue Reading

Loves: 14
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