Content brought over from a discussion on Fetlife (login required).
Is it possible/likely that a sub becomes more obedient to his domme over time?
My experience is ‘yes’. And for me it’s a function of a deepening relationship.
What I mean by that is that as my submissive gets to know me, if everything is working well, his desire to submit gets stronger and so the D/s becomes ‘more’ (more meaningful, more heartfelt, more serious… more).
So while I can see obedience being binary (he either did it or didn’t do it), in the beginning, it might be a bit tentative, perhaps questioning, maybe doing what he’s told at a minimum because he’s not all in yet. So while he might still be obedient, he doesn’t quite ‘get it’ yet, so he hasn’t quite hit the ‘because I want you to be happy’ point from the ‘because you said so’ point.
Kind of like there is a big difference between someone handing in a 1 page report where they used double spacing and copied the content directly from Wikipedia vs someone who genuinely did some thorough research and was doing their best to give you what you asked for and more. Both are ‘being obedient’, but they aren’t the same thing.
Do dommes have techniques or systems that enhance the level of obedience of their sub over time? Can training of the sub be useful/effective in developing obedience?
I’m consistent and don’t let him get away with not delivering (“Where is it?” “Why didn’t you do it?” “Is there a problem?” “Do we need to talk about this?” etc): that gives him and our relationship a pretty solid framework of expectations. I don’t call that ‘training’, though I guess some might.
Ultimately it’s his choice to obey or not, and if the relationship is working right, his obedience is something that makes us BOTH happy, so there is no reason for him to disobey. If I have to do a bunch of stuff to ‘make’ him obey, I’m setting up a dynamic where I’m like a trick pony that performs based on whatever he decides to do, and in the end that pretty much makes me the submissive. Not happening.