Are you on Collarspace? Read this

I’ve been chicken-littling over for a while now.

I know a lot of people hate the site, but I’ve met lovely submissive men there (I found sunshine on collarspace), and it’s still the biggest BDSM dating site despite all of its faults. And make no mistake, when it comes to dating, size matters :P.

I think it’s in trouble.

It has always suffered from some level of flakiness and ‘not-being-properly-maintain’edness, but there are red flags a-plenty pointing to its imminent demise at the moment.

1. The forum side ( was removed some months ago without warning
2. The chatrooms … [...Read More]

Loves: 8
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Reader Q&A: Podcast #101 [Audio]

Intro music by M.M. | Transcription by MFMWKE

Welcome to another podcast. This Reader Q&A includes the following:

  • How to find a dominant woman: (here you go!)
  • I don’t trust him, what do I do?
  • Sweetness & box girder bridges
  • Mismatched communication styles
  • Navigating new relationships
  • Getting her from ‘indulging him’ to ‘taking the domme role’
  • Dealing with subs who tell Dommes ‘how it should be’
  • Does he have “too many hard limits”
  • More ideas for punishments please
  • And more!

The Domme Chronicles podcast is available on iTunes, … [...Read More]

Loves: 3
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e[lust] #106

Welcome to Elust 106

The only place where the smartest and hottest sex bloggers are featured under one roof every month. Whether you’re looking for sex journalism, erotic writing, relationship advice or kinky discussions it’ll be here at Elust. Want to be included in Elust #107? Start with the rules, come back June 1st to submit something and subscribe to the RSS feed for updates!


~ This Month’s Top Three Posts ~

Orgasms Save Me From Myself

Charlie’s Bar

I’m Not Ready to Love My Body


~ Featured Post (Molly’s Picks) ~

Letters and Lonely Hearts[...Read More]

Click to show some love
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#cockygate: A Saga of Arseholery

Aw yeah, I went there...

If you are involved in writing romance books (and you probably aren’t) or read them (maybe you do) or if you read books at all (have I got you all now?), then #cockygate might be of interest to you.

If you’ve not heard a thing about it, sit back and let me wave the drama around.

Romance author Faleena Hopkins got a trademark on the word ‘cocky’ (yes, on the word itself) for “a series of books in the field of romance” to protect her book series brand. This is already ludicrous: Trademarking a commonly used word in the English … [...Read More]

Loves: 7
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Dating: Hope vs Delusion

My American boyfriend*, DualDrew, wrote an interesting piece about personal ads and dating profiles: Hope or Delusion? The Modern Kinky Personal Ad. Go read it.

My comment got too long over there, so I’m posting it here instead.

I’m going to take issue with the opinion Drew floated about hypocrisy and the idea that I have to BE what I want in order to be allowed to want it (i.e. I see no problem with unfit people wanting someone fit, or bald people liking flowing locks, or short people liking someone tall, young people wanting someone older or … [...Read More]

Loves: 12
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Revisit (or ‘6’3 of pretty, yes please!’)

copyright'cougarling' by Ferns

Remember the cougarling?

6’3 of pretty, I contacted him on Fetlife, he drove 24 hours a couple of times to come and spend time with me… Yes, him.

We’ve kept in sporadic touch over the last two years. Friendly emails on and off (mostly off).

In my last message of note to him, I said this:

“You are most welcome in my lair, in my rope, and in my bed”

It’s rare that I offer anything casual to anyone, but even though our different communication styles meant there was nowhere to take anything longer term, I like him and … [...Read More]

Loves: 15
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Be bold

'Lagertha, Vikings'

You know, sometimes I just want to see women kicking some arse and inviting priests into a threesome…

**Vikings spoilers and violence**

(also I could not find a way to stop this instagram video from auto-looping, click it again to stop it)

I have message for you… #timesup #womensmarch

A post shared by Katheryn Winnick (@katherynwinnick) on

When people say ‘fight like a girl’, I couldn’t agree more.

What is a woman’s place in this world?

Is it to be docile, compliant, or simply silent.


The gods have bigger … [...Read More]

Loves: 9
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