BDSM play doesn’t equal ‘being mean’

For new dominants, there is often an internalised belief that they are ‘being mean’ to their submissives when they play. Especially when the play involves physical or emotional pain. Impact play, CBT, nipple torture, humiliation, degradation…

This is true for many dominants, but it’s especially true for new dominant women who have been socialised their entire lives to ‘be nice’ and who often enter online spaces where they are heavily rewarded by fetishists for ‘being … Continue Reading

Loves: 25
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Another femdom interview for Masocast

© Masocast by UnspeakableAxe

The lovely Axe from the Masocast invited me to have another chat with him and of course I said ‘yes’ to that :).

My fourth interview for the Masocast! I am clearly his favourite :P.

My earlier interviews can be found here:

And here we are at number four :).

Some snippets:

I cannot say it’s because of that,

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Loves: 4
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Reader Q&A: Femdom Podcast #116 [Audio]

© 'Ferns Femdom Podcast' by and of Ferns. Music by M.M. Transcript by MFMWKE.

This fantastic femdom podcast Q&A includes the following:

  • Post-punishment rituals
  • Sweetness in my ‘Ask Me‘s! Thank you
  • D/s Kissing 101, an impassioned primer
  • Money is complicating my relationship: Halp!
  • How many ‘great loves’ have you had?
  • Can I maintain my masculinity and be submissive? (spoiler: YES!)
  • And more!

The Domme Chronicles podcast is available on iTunes and Spotify: Subscribe if you want to be sure to get my audio porn delivered straight … Continue Reading

Loves: 6
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Femdom in Second Life: Roth

I still haven’t ventured into the femdom sims since I last posted about femdom in Second Life, for the record. Instead I am trying my hand at adding scripts to simple objects because I’m curious and it’s fun to learn new things. RLV scripts, to be specific.


Patience, grasshopper.

RLV stands for Restrained Love Viewer.

RLV (Restrained Love Viewer) enhances your Second Life experience

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Loves: 13
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Femdom in Second Life: Eleven years on

© 'SL Images (clockwise from top left): Sub in a hanging ball cage, my avi, tattoos, knife-wings, cock handcuffs'

I ventured into Second Life to check out the femdom sims some eleven years ago.

I wrote some posts about how I found femdom in Second Life way back then:

Recently I was contacted by a lovely submissive, Roth, who was spending time in Second Life (SL) and I ventured back in with … Continue Reading

Loves: 9
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How can I help my partner be more dominant?

This is adapted from my response to a question on Fetlife that I see a lot from submissives who have partners who are new and exploring their dominance:

“How can I help my partner be more dominant?”

These questions always seem to be accompanied by descriptions of what they’ve tried that essentially boil down to ‘I told her how to do (more of) my fetish to me’ and, unsurprisingly, that doesn’t work so well…

This … Continue Reading

Loves: 17
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PSA: D/s doesn’t magic away normal human behaviour


In a book club chat with Joshua Tenpenny, the submissive half of the M/m couple who authored Real Service (if you haven’t browsed my non-fiction BDSM booklist yet, go take a look!), he talked about the realities of submission with years of real D/s relationship experience behind him, and I tell you what, discussions with people with that kind of experience is a breath of fresh air.

One of the things he said was essentially: … Continue Reading

Loves: 14
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