The heart of the question

For some reason I’ve had a flurry of emails in my inbox from local submissive men over on Fetlife recently.

I have NO idea why. I’ve done nothing unusual to suddenly be on anyone’s radar. I’ve been there forever, have no sexy pictures, don’t put up ads etc, so my inbox doesn’t attract any significant attention. I normally get either spam or chats relating to my posts. So it’s like someone suddenly put a spotlight on me. Strange.

Most were an eye-rolling level of silliness from grown-arse self-identified submissive men: One sentence from an empty profile with no activity. You … Continue Reading

Loves: 16
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How to find a finsub: Part 2

© 'Findom spoils' by Ferns

Part 1 here.

So how did my Champagne Boy and I get from there to findom?

We talked a lot about various forms of D/s over the time we’ve known each other, his ideas and tastes becoming clearer, evolving. He became more comfortable with them, realised that F/m as a relationship model can actually work vs just being a fantasy.

Our discussions were largely theoretical and about long term relationships, but of course we were interested in each other’s views and wanted to get to know each other, so we talked about relationship styles and kinks and our respective thoughts … Continue Reading

Loves: 17
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How to find a finsub: Part 1

I have a finsub now. I guess that makes me a findom.

Typing that feels odd. And I suspect whatever you are imagining about how it works for me is probably not how it works.

Let me go back a step, talk about how this happened.

Firstly, I wasn’t looking for a financial submissive (finsub). I’m not a financial Domme (findom), have never been a findom, no matter how you define it (see here for an explanation of financial domination if you aren’t familiar with the term).

Financial control has never been a part of any relationship I’ve been in.… Continue Reading

Loves: 18
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e[lust] #121

Welcome to Elust 121

The only place where the smartest and hottest sex bloggers are featured under one roof every month. Whether you’re looking for sex journalism, erotic writing, relationship advice or kinky discussions it’ll be here at Elust. Want to be included in Elust #122? Start with the rules, come back September 1st to submit something and subscribe to the RSS feed for updates!

 

~ This Month’s Top Three Posts ~

Breathe with me

DID and Relationships: It’s Complicated!

Neck constriction, choking and death

~ Featured Post (Molly’s Picks) ~

Her Future Husband

Secretary

~Readers Choice from Sexbytes ~

It’s the humiliation

*You really should consider adding your popular posts here too*
All blogs that have a submission in this edition must re-post this digest from tip-to-toe on their blogs within 7 days. Re-posting the photo is optional and the use of the read moretag is allowable after this point. Thank you, and enjoy!
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Blooming randomness

© 'Ferns & orchids' by and of Ferns and her blooming babe

I had five social events and numerous phone calls in the week around my birthday. FIVE!

It is amazing to me that people want to spend time with me (I am a bad friend/daughter/sister etc, for the most part), and I am grateful for their perseverance, as much as I find the socialising exhausting.

I could pretend that the over-peopling is the reason I’ve kind of shut down, because I have shut down. But it’s not that. That doesn’t help of course, but it’s not the cause.

A kind of malaise has settled over me. It is soft and … Continue Reading

Loves: 16
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Birthday nude: Phenomenal woman

© 'Ferns nude crouching, censored' by and of Ferns

Now you understand
Just why my head’s not bowed.
I don’t shout or jump about
Or have to talk real loud.
When you see me passing,
It ought to make you proud.
I say,
It’s in the click of my heels,
The bend of my hair,
the palm of my hand,
the need for my care.
Because I’m a woman.
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
All you women, and me.
― from Phenomenal Woman, Maya Angelou

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Loves: 175
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Femdom dating: Ebbs and flows

There is a very predictable ebb and flow to my dating endeavors.

I will do a flurry of activity, reaching out, meeting people, engaging positively.

And then I am done.

Like… really done.

I’m exhausted by the effort involved in trawling web sites, in engaging with potential partners, in the social exchange, in meeting up, in all the mental and emotional work involved in it.

I will give it a solid go for a hot minute, then I need to hide in my cave for a while, regroup, cycle up some energy for the next round.

I’m in the trough … Continue Reading

Loves: 17
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