5 days with the cougarling

The rising sun was still low over the horizon, a warm morning, the promise of a bright day. An early swim and play in the surf. I leapt at him full force, trying to take him down in the churning water. He held me lightly, amused. Could easily lift me overhead. Playful silliness.

I left the water first, drying myself on the beach. I watched him stride out of the surf towards me, the towel forgotten in my hand. The sun behind him turned him into a glowing god-like silhouette, unconscious loose-limbed grace: Tall, broad shouldered, tiny hipped, strong, beautiful. I wished I had a camera, instead I took a mental picture: it’s still a vivid image.

When we first met at a local bar, I was wearing heels. I point that out only to say that I was perhaps 6’1 to his 6’3. We sat, talked, had wine. An early little communication hiccup was quickly sorted, my reaching across the table to touch his hand to make sure we were still okay, the physical contact a small sweetness.

When we went out for dinner that first night, I was also wearing heels, now 6’2 to his 6’3. He seemed dismayed that the table was between us, I encouraged him to move his chair closer. We ate only a little of our meals, bird-like snacking, lots of talking. That night when we got back to my place, he picked me up and carried me into the bedroom as if I weighed nothing. It was hot and it made me laugh. I never get to feel petite and it’s totally a thing. Kissing and light exploration. I sent him home late.

The tall, the broad, the narrow, the cuffs… just… all of it…

The next morning when I answered the door in my bare feet and finally stood toe-to-toe with him, I had to look up for real, now a full 5 inches shorter than him.

“Well, look at you,” I said in wonder, tipping my head back. The height was part of it, but the man is all wide shoulders and lean muscle: delicious.

He smiled down at me. Both of us amused by the height difference. Me by the novelty of it, him by my delight in it. I seemed to say it every time I saw him and had to look up. “Well, look at you…”

He’s beautiful and he towers above me, which I just love and will never get over.

“We both know who’s stronger…” I said that a lot also when we tussled. Though I surprised him once when I managed to immobilise his legs with little effort, his comical look of surprise that he couldn’t just shift me still makes me laugh. It didn’t last long, all he had to do was lift my entire body off him to end that little stand-off.

We walked, we ate, we drank, we biked, we talked, we explored. We sat out on the deck eating, drinking, chatting, my feet nestled in his lap. He’s an impressive man, in all senses of the word.

He was keenly and wonderfully affectionate. Unexpected and lovely. I haven’t had that for a long time and I loved it. He would move his chair close to me when we sat, lean in for a kiss whenever we found ourselves paused out in the world, reach to touch me just because, drape an arm around my shoulders, seek out my hand to hold. I had almost forgotten how warm and sweet that feels.

We played: kissing, petting, teasing, denial, restraints, orgasm control. He complained about the denial. A lot. Just writing that makes me laugh. But in truth the ‘crying wolf’ is difficult for me with someone new (obviously “Oh it’s so terrible-hot” is so very different from “I’m really not enjoying this at all”) and it can be hard to tell one from the other if I can’t get a straight answer.

I asked him for impact play (he is not into pain), he asked me for arse play (after a bad experience): both were gentle explorations aimed at reassurance, not intensity. “I trust you,” he said, an offering that I don’t take lightly.

There were some stunning hints of vulnerability behind the cocky arrogance he carries in the world. Triggered by my hand around his throat, my foot on his face, moments that hinted at much more hidden underneath that I hadn’t come close to touching. The kind of glimpses that make me curious to see more.

I asked him to make me scrambled eggs one morning, and he made them for me each morning after that. Wanted to learn how the coffee machine worked. Washed dishes unasked. Made sure I had water. But oddly, he would also say ‘no’ to random things I asked of him. Things of no consequence. Perhaps pushing back just because. Perhaps wanting to be pushed. I didn’t push though, I didn’t know him well enough for that.

He was here for 5 days. Staying with me for the last 2 nights, I gave him the second bedroom. “That’s your room,” I said. He laughed at me. We played and kissed and he slept in my bed. I slept also, with this relative stranger in my bed. Unusual for me.

“I’ll leave at 9 in the morning,” he said to me the night before. When he left at 3pm, after breakfast and play and more talking, we kissed sweetly, didn’t speak of what might follow.

“You’re a good boy,” I said as a goodbye. He seemed surprised whenever I said it, no different this time. I assume he thought I meant ‘obediently submissive’ which he wasn’t, and which I wouldn’t expect from someone I’ve just met. But I didn’t mean that, I meant ‘I see you, you have been sweet and lovely with me, I appreciate you, and thank you’.

We spent about 112 hours together all up. That’s about 5-6 weeks worth of dating condensed into a very short time frame, but I still I feel as if I have barely touched the surface, skimming instead of diving deep.

I left the country almost immediately after he got in his car and started the 12-ish hour drive back home so there has been very little contact since. I feel adrift, he feels distant.

We haven’t talked about ‘what next’ yet. We will do that this week.

I enjoyed him a lot, I see potential and I don’t think we have even touched the edges of it yet. I absolutely think he’s worth the challenge of distance, but we have some communication issues that I think are going to be difficult to sort out remotely. They were evident in person, but physical proximity makes them less important, easier to deal with. They are going to be much bigger problems remotely. Sometimes distance is an opportunity, and sometimes it’s a barrier. In our case, I think it’s going to be the latter.

So, we will see where we can take it from here.

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38 Comments

  1. Can’t stop looking at the perfect V shape on the Cougarling. I saw you say ‘phew’ on twitter.

    Make that a double phew!!

  2. This is a great thing to read, after seeing all the “hints” about the cougarling here and on Twitter. Just heartwarming, glitches and all.

    Sounds a bit like the first “date” my wife and I had, too, after 6 months of emails and phone calls from opposite coasts. Was supposed to have been dinner and an evening. Lasted four non-stop days instead. (Distance would have been a real barrier to us, too. Six weeks later, I was back, hunting apartments.)

  3. Great report. Well begun is half done. I think it is safe to say we are all pulling for you and Cougarling or is it Navy Seal-Viking?

      1. Does Australia have “navy seals”? Or, does your country make do with a cheap, inferior, knock off version (who undoubtedly don’t speak with an accent)? Or, is Cougarling an Americsn fugitive hiding in Austrailia? Is he an outlaw?? Ooooo, very exciting. And all waiting to be tamed! This should be awesome.

        Thanks

        1. We don’t, no. We have ‘Special Forces’ and ‘Commandos’ and the SAS (Special Air Service) and I’m sure other elite units, but I think the American ones are better known because MURRIKA!.

          *laugh* The cougarling is Australian, but from ‘somewhere else’ (aren’t we all?). He even has an accent!

          Ferns

  4. I loved that last line. Sometimes distance is an opportunity and sometimes it is a barrier. I’m super glad it went so well when you saw him though!

    Recently I had a submissive I haven’t been involved with in over a year flat out tell me “I never pursued anyone after you and I haven’t had another Dominant since you.”

    I wasn’t exactly as thrilled as I think he figured I would be. Because for me, it didn’t matter and never had once it was over. Distance was a barrier for him and I, a huge one, and there’s absolutely no going back on that.

    So here’s hoping the barrier is turned into an opportunity and the happy butt grabbing moments continue for a long time to come!

    1. *smile* I can’t tell you how glad I am that it went well. Even if it doesn’t work out, I’m delighted to have the time with this amazing man.

      And yeah, distance is a bitch. I’m sorry that the distance was such an issue for you.

      I WILL tackle it if I think it’s worth it, but only because I’m relocatable if there’s something of substance there. Still, getting to the point where you both decide that’s true is still really difficult.

      Thank you for the good wishes *smile*.

      Ferns

  5. I thought I had responded to this but seems I am remiss… this just made me smile huge. I’m very pleased for you and hope the challenges can be overcome. Oh and yeah, he’s smoking hot!!

    Ann
    xx

  6. And so the journey begins….

    The discovery, the unfolding, revealing, transparency and the uncovering that only comes when two come together.

    I may live through you for a while. ;-)

    ~ Vista

    1. I hope I can make the vicarious living worthwhile!

      At the very least we have another few days together coming up, so there’s that *smile*.

      Ferns

  7. Oh, he thought he was deciding when he’d be leaving. So cute. How long before a newbie understands that his mind is being made up by you?

  8. Wonderful! I loved this post… Not just that it seemed to go so well and have potential, but you put it in such a succinctly lovely way.

  9. The waiting for this update was well worth it. I have to admit, i’ve been stalking your twitter in your absence from your blog. Loved the little snippets on there, but REALLY loved to read about the cougarling right here.
    You have a way with words that makes it like we are right there with you. I hope it works out, but i am already very happy for you that you had such a wonderful time. Well deserved! *going back into the quiet stalking mode*

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