There is a tone I didn’t even realise I used when we played, or perhaps more accurately, when I was turned on and tuned into him.
He mentioned it early on. “Oh, that voice…” he said softly, almost a moan, his own tone dropping in response.
I paid attention then. It is quiet, slow, deliberate, concentrated, slightly deeper than my normal speaking voice, resonating from the back of my throat. It’s almost calming, unconsciously designed to wash over him, like some relentless wave of water that simply and … Continue Reading
I love the idea of puppy play though I’ve only tried it once and it didn’t quite work. We still got some fun out of it, but neither of us quite got into the right mindset. He wasn’t really puppy-playful and I didn’t know how to bring it out of him, so in the end it was more about restrictions and objectification than puppy play.
Still, I’m finding puppies more and more adorable. The playful gambolling, the cute noises, the attention seeking, the tricks, the pleasure … Continue Reading
It was still early, all of us in black, seated around the table. Our appearance might have seemed gothically funereal except for the fact that we were at an Italian restaurant: eating pizza, drinking wine, talking, laughing.
My boy was sitting beside me, young, shy, nervous. Quiet. He wasn’t really mine. Not really. But for the purposes of public consumption, on this night he belonged to me. He wore my collar of simple leather, a silver clip connecting the D-ring to the chain that fell down from … Continue Reading
This is a picture of the first time I played with rope, my ex boy kneeling patiently before me while I painstakingly followed instructions for this dragonfly sleeve. I enjoyed it well enough: time spent with my sweetheart, intense attention, an almost meditative precision, and oh my he was so pretty in rope, but I didn’t ‘get’ it.
I was curious about people’s attraction to rope, and why it was such a draw for so many.
There is an inherent vulnerability in the offering of the throat, the pulsing jugular, the potential for damage right there. I always thought of his hair as the most easily-grabbed, it was my go-to, my default, but having been with a man who suited a crop-cut, I unconsciously retrained myself. Now it’s the throat.
It is instinctual now, that my hand goes there. It is symbolic and thoughtless.