Is it play acting?

“…is there some “playacting” there with the de riguer props (whips and crops, bindings and gags, collar and leash) and the formalized play of rituals; the sub speaking only when spoken to or given permission, lowering of his eyes and made to kneel, bowing down…?”

I think I understand what you are getting at, but ‘play acting’ rubs me up the wrong way. Are vanilla people ‘play acting’ when they dress up in sexy lingerie or when they talk dirty or rub up all over their partner? Or are they just expressing aspects of their sexuality?

It’s not really an … Continue Reading

Loves: 21
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Happy femdom story – Eiren & Berkson

Eiren is a young dominant woman who is married to her submissive, Berkson. I’m privileged to share their happy femdom story here: It’s a tale of D/s love that started in Second Life, led to an interstate move, and then to marriage. They had a few rocky years at the start, but there’s a real ‘happy ever after’ in it like you read about *smile*. Enjoy.

Author: Eiren (transcribed by Berkson)

We met on a game called Second Life, something that I’ve been playing for around 10 years now.

I was a virtual escort, well, I guess I can … Continue Reading

Loves: 5
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Happy femdom story – Alexandra

Alexandra is a young dominant from Greece who sent me this very sweet story of meeting and exploring BDSM with her boyfriend. I love that she has found someone she trusts to explore this with.

It makes me smile: it’s truly lovely.

Author: Alexandra

I’ll admit that I, too, am one of those little girls who read Fifty Shades of Grey and suddenly got into BDSM and all that. But actually after reading this book I started looking for sites about BDSM and found out it’s nothing like the movies or books or even porn. It’s so much better because … Continue Reading

Loves: 6
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Happy femdom story – Wheldrake

I haven’t received a happy femdom story in my inbox for so long. I do love them so.

This is a story of remote connection and D/s that was born out of a shared love of words and, unlike many other happy femdom stories I’ve shared it, is one that illustrates that D/s relationships do not have to be about romance to thrive and grow and to make the participants happy. Thank you both so much for sharing your story.

Author: Wheldrake

This is not, I have to admit, a love story. It contains no flowers, no walks along the … Continue Reading

Loves: 3
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Do what you say you will do

I’ve said this before in different ways, but I’m going to say it again.

What I expect from potential submissives, or even submissive men I am just flirting with, is that they do what they say they will do. Every time. Reliably. Without fail.

Hell, I apply that rule to everyone, but with *other* people, I don’t really care either way. Do it, don’t do it, whatever. No skin off my nose.

With a submissive man who I might be feeling out for more than flirtatious banter, though, it’s everything.

It’s how I develop trust in them. It’s how I … Continue Reading

Loves: 13
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Fears of submissive men

Susannah Clary wrote an interesting post about her recent dating experiences where she mused that it’s taking many men into their 40s and 50s to discover and accept who they really are.

That led to her asking these questions:

To my readers who identify as submissive or switch men, how did/do you deal with fear and self-acceptance?
How can I help men I encounter to begin that journey of self-acceptance and overcome their fears?

I commented over there, but it was already really long and I had more to say, so I’m bringing it over here.

I don’t have … Continue Reading

Loves: 17
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On being emotionally fearless

I said in my last post:

When I talk about wanting a man who is emotionally fearless, it’s because I need him to hammer down those walls and throw himself into the fray over and over and take whatever hits are coming.

And I got a really smart question from the original asker:

“But don’t you think its possible that being emotionally fearless maybe difficult for someone not because they are afraid of stepping into the fray but because they don’t want to put someone they care about/serve in a situation where they are being ‘hammered’.”

Yes, absolutely. … Continue Reading

Loves: 6
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